Save My Heart
by Twistedloveaffair69
Summary: "You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives." ― Shannon L. Alder
1. Chapter 1

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter one: Be My friend, hold me, wrap me up**

" _The truth is; everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."_  
 _― Bob Marley_

* * *

She spots him sitting on his bike outside of her house.

 _Why is he here?_ she thinks, _I gave him the space like he asked. What more does he want?_ And in a minute she's fuming because all she can think of is how he's probably here to argue with her again and try to convince her not to marry Edward and become a vampire.

She's so tired of arguing with everyone.

Charlie was against it.

Her mother was against it.

All her friends were against it.

She turns her eyes away from him and goes back to washing the dishes but her eyes keep flicking to Jacob sitting in her drive way. She can't help it.

Jacob's always been like the sun, you can't help but want to look at it…but stare too long and it blinds you.

She drops the coffee mug she was washing and goes to go see what he wants. He smiles when he sees her and her stride falters as her heart skips a beat.

Jacob's smile widens and she curses werewolf hearing.

 _He's so smug_ she thinks but then she notices the loneliness that in his eyes and she can't be mad at him anymore.

She knows she hurt him by choosing Edward and hurting him hurts her.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" she asked, nervously.

"I…" he stutters for a second, looking lost, "I just wanted to say congratulations."

"Congratulations?"

"Yes," he replies with the gentlest yet saddest smile she's ever seen him give. "Look, I'm sorry for some of the stuff that I've said and I'm sorry for pushing you away. I miss you, I miss us, our friendship, and I get it now…you love Edward and that's how it is, it always will be. I was just fooling myself by thinking I could compete with that."

"Jacob, you're not…"she trails off not knowing what she was about to say.

 _You weren't fooling yourself, Jake. I did love you. I do love you._

Her heart always did have a mind of its own.

Instead she shakes her head and says, "I'm sorry too…for everything."

They stare into each other's eyes for a long moment, looking for something, some sign that they could make this work.

"Does this mean I can come back to La Push again?" she asks, hesitantly.

"Sure, Sure," he says.

For the first time in a month, she smiles.


	2. Chapter 2

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter two: I am small, and needy, warm me up**

 _"I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff."_  
 _― Jon Katz_

* * *

He's been waiting on the beach for Bella for almost two hours. It's pathetic, he decides, this sitting here waiting for her to turn up but he can't go because to do so would be to give up all hope that she might care and that is an alternative too painful.

"Jake!" he hears and sighs in relief.

"Got stuck in traffic, Bells?" he says casually, trying to sound like he didn't mind, but Bella hears the hurt in his voice.

That's all she seems to do with Jacob, _use_ , **hurt** , _use_ , **hurt**.

It's a terrible pattern.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry Jacob," she pleads, and suddenly she's babbling "Edward and I were working on our vows and then I was late to my appointment with the caterers and then I got in an argument with Charlie about the wedding and, I'm so sorry."

"Relax, honey. It's not a big deal. I got here late myself," he lies with an easy grin.

As long as she came, as long as she cared, then he was okay.

And even if she didn't, he can't bear to be angry anymore. He's been angry so long, ever since he phased and discovered her secret, and he just wanted it to stop.

He watches the girl in front of him, who looks like she's seconds away from breaking into tears and stands to pull her into a hug.

"I think we might be late for Southpaw, so how about we just skip the movie and just stay here for a while?" he suggests, seeing how tired she is.

"Are you sure, Jacob?"

"Yes." He smiles and she smiles back, sighing in his embrace.

"Thank you, Jacob. I don't know what I'm going to do without you,"

Jacob frowns, a dull ache in his chest, but he pushes it down.

"I'll be here, Bells. As long as your heart keeps beating,"

Bella frowns, a sharp pain shooting through her, but she pushes it down.

They sit on the beach in silence until Edward calls for her to go home.


	3. Chapter 3

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
― **Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter Three: Hurt myself again today and the worst part is there's no one else to blame**

 _"If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking , they can make you laugh."_  
 _― P.C. Cast _

* * *

Bella opens her mouth, wanting to say something but knowing that it would be inappropriate to share with Jacob. Jacob watches her, reads the tired lines on her face, hears her sigh and all it represents and he can't help it - he cares. _Too much._

"You ok, Bella?" he asks and she doesn't say anything for a long moment.

"I'm fine, Jake," she lies and turns her head away from him, so he won't see her eyes. "Just a little tired,"

"No you're not Bella. Usually when you're tired you yawn and tap your fingers on your leg but when you're like this, barely speaking a word –that means that something happened with Edward."

Bella's surprised he noticed that about her.

"What happened? Did you guys have a fight or something?"

She says nothing. Maybe he should let it go. Then her eyes water- it's all he needs.

"You can talk me. I know things aren't the way they used to be but I still want to be here for you and _I am here_."

Bella's shoulders slump.

"I don't want to keep burdening you with my problems, Jake. Not after everything I put you through. It's not fair to you,"

"I don't care. We said we were going to be friends and friends talk to each other."

She laughs before she can stop herself and wonders why it's always so easy with him.

"You _are_ a good friend Jacob, the _best_ I've ever had…but I'm not going to do that,"

"Bella…"

"No, Jake. I'm not going to keep doing that to you. you're my friend and you deserve better. I shouldn't need you so much…" she trails off, remembering the argument she had with Edward and gives a watery laugh, "It's pathetic, _I'm_ pathetic."

"You are not pathetic, Bella. It's okay to need people sometimes. Because that's what friends and family are for. To be there when you need them."

"Tell that to Edward," she mutters and then flinches.

"What happened?" Jacob asks and Bella sighs.

"Edward thinks that I'm spending too much time with you and is worried I'm going to back out of the wedding," she finally admits,

Jacob feels hope grow like a flower in his heart…only to wither and die as he remembers how much Bella loves Edward.

"That's crazy. You love Edward and there's no way you would back out of the wedding to be with me," he laughs, but it sounds strained. "We're just friends, Edward will eventually pull his head out of his ass and see that and if he doesn't then, well, maybe…" He takes a sharp breath, remembering that the slightest wrong word could ruin this between them. "Bella, all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. And if marrying Edward will make you happy then I support you fully. And if it all falls to pieces, you'll still have me."

Bella was left with an overwhelming sense of happiness and comfort. Jacob smiles at her and the setting sun behind him makes him seem even more handsome than he usually is.

"You remember when I said you were sort of beautiful?" she asks before she could stop herself.

"Yeah?" Jacob questions, confused by the sudden change in story.

"You're not sort of beautiful," she says and Jacob frowns.

"No?"

"You're just plain beautiful inside and out," She compliments and Jacob smirks.

"Oh, really?" He stands a little straighter and puffs out his chest.

"Definitely," she states.

He smiles at her and she smiles back, both content with the way their friendship is rapidly returning to what it once was, before Werewolves, and vampires got in the way


	4. Chapter 4

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **―** **Shannon L. Alder**

 **Chapter four: So send the question in the wind and give an answer to a friend**

 _"Isn't it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up?"_  
 _ _― Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens__

* * *

Edward comes back early from his hunting trip, and is about to climb through Bella's window when he sees them: his fiancé and her mutt sitting close together on her bed, talking, laughing, smiling. Dread hits him straight away and then comes the unfathomable jealousy.

He opens the window and they spring apart like they guilty lovers.

"Hey, Edward," Bella greets, with a guilty smile. "You're home early,"

Jacob refuses to look at him and he can hear the resentment in the dog's mind before he pushes it down. But that's not what he's worried about. He's used to Jacob being in love with Bella. It's like being in love with Bella is a part of who Jacob is and Edward wonders if the puppy will ever really be over his mate.

What worries Edward is the fact that Bella was smiling. She never really smiles around him anymore and to see her smiling so freely with that…beast, just aggravates him.

"I couldn't stand being away from you a second longer so I came back early. The others will be joining us tomorrow," Edward says smoothly, burying his frustration.

"Oh," Bella says and gives him a tight smile. "Welcome home,"

Edward walks across the room and pulls Bella into a long, drawn out kiss, closed mouthed, of course, so as not to hurt her with his venom coated teeth.

He can hear Jacob's pain filled thoughts and he pulls away smug. He isn't worried about Jacob making another move on Bella. It seems as though the pup has resigned himself to just being his mate's friend…but it never hurts to make sure he knows who she belongs to.

"Hello, Jacob," Edward greets, "What are you doing here?"

Jacob grits his teeth and Bella jumps to speak.

"Jacob's staying dinner, Charlie invited him, and we were just hanging out until the roast gets out of the oven,"

"That nice, love," Edward lies, hating the fact that Bella's father still preferred that…animal, to him.

"Actually, Bells, I think I'm going to hit the road," Jacob blurts. And Bella looks disappointed but doesn't press for him to stay.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" she asks and Jacob shoots a glance in Edward's direction.

"Maybe," he says, and gives her a fake-grin. "Bye, Bella,"

"Bye," she says, sadly and Edward couldn't help but feel a little guilty…but it passed quickly enough.


	5. Chapter 5

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter five: Send a question in the wind...It's hard to know where to begin**

 _"For a second, two seconds, they had exchanged an equivocal glance, and that was the end of the story. But even that was a memorable event, in the locked loneliness in which one had to live."_  
 _― George Orwell, __1984 _

* * *

He keeps having the same nightmare; Bella whiter than a sheet of paper with angry, burning red eyes and venom coated teeth growling at him with the body of her loved ones around her.

He wakes screaming, his heated skin sweaty and wet, his heart hammering in his chest like a jackhammer like it's going to jump out of his chest. He reaches out and pats the empty space next to him.

She keeps having the same nightmare; She's an angry newborn with red eyes and fangs, growling at Jacob who's in wolf mode ready to kill her after she's killed everyone that she cares about.

She wakes screaming, her cool skin sweaty and wet, tears spilling down her face, her heart thrashing against her ribcage, trying to burst free. Edward tries to hold her but the icy, hardness of his skin just reminds her of her nightmares and makes her cry harder.

Neither Bella or Jacob mention their nightmares to each other.

Jacob keeps quiet because he doesn't want Bella to feel like he's trying to change her mind.

Bella keeps quiet because she doesn't want Jacob to know that she's having doubts.

"That was a really good movie, what did you think, Jake?" Bella says nervously, her hands trembling at her sides.

"Yeah, really…good." he replies shakily.

This is the sixth time they've hung out together this week and then there's been all the late phone calls at night before bed; it is all so eerily familiar to how things used to be that he's beginning to forget that she's in fact engaged, and he's kind of worried that she's forgetting too.

"Hey, Bells, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Jacob." she says a little unsure.

He takes a deep breath, and then nervously asks her, "When you become a…. When you become a vampire, where are you and the Cullens going to go?"

"What do you mean?" she asks, confused.

"The treaty," Jacob winces, "You know that you and the Cullens can't stay here, right? So where are you going to go?"

He watches as her body stiffens and Jacob wishes almost he could take back his question.

But he needs to know.

"I thought…we decided to go to Alaska," she says and Jacob nods.

"So, you weren't lying when you told Charlie you were going to college in Alaska," Jacob states and Bella shakes her head.

"I'm not going to college," she mumbles.

Jacob's eyes widen.

"What?" he questions.

Bella shrugs.

"What's the point? The Cullens all have degrees that they never get a chance to use. If I'm going to be in high school forever then why would I want to go to the next level only to have to go back,"

Jacob doesn't have an answer.

"Do you think that…I could come see you? You know, after you change?"

Bella wants to say yes. She wants to shout it and hug him because she was so afraid that she was going to lose him and she wasn't sure she could survive an eternity without him…. but…

"I don't think that's a good idea," she admits.

Jacob freezes.

"What?"

Bella tries to think of a way to explain herself.

"I'm not…I probably won't…I don't want to hurt you,"

"You would never hurt me," Jacob says, with a small smile then his smile faded. "At least not physically," he adds, under his breath.

"I wouldn't…but I'm not really going to be _me_ anymore, am I?" she asks and, he winces as she throws his own words back at him.

All of a sudden, he's left in a state of alarm as he realizes their friendship will be coming to an end. He'd already excepted that he would be losing Bella but a part of him, the part that thought that he might be able to love Bella even after her heart stopped beating, had never really thought it would be over like this.

"Right," he muttered.

A silence falls over them as they both stare at their feet, lost in thought. Then Bella suddenly smiles at him.

"But I won't be gone forever. Maybe after I'm no longer a crazed bloodthirsty newborn I can call you or maybe we can email,"

Jacob nods eagerly.

"Yeah, that would be nice."

"Besides," she adds in a far more solemn and honest tone, "we still have a few months, right?"

"Of course." He reaches out and grabs her hand, small, soft, pale, feeling the way it trembles as he holds on tight.

Something passes between them and she gasps, silently, her pink lips parting.

"Bella," he says her name as if a thousand sentences that he should have been said long ago would follow it.

 _Don't leave me._

 **I need you.**

 ** _I love you._**

 ** _I'm in love with you and I want you to choose me instead of him._**

But he's already said those words before and they almost cost him his more than just her love…they almost cost him her friendship.

"Everything will work out," he lies and Bella smiles.

"Sure, sure,"

As he looks down at her, smiling a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, he wonders if she feels as alone right now as he does.


	6. Chapter 6

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter five: Place your past into a book...Put in everything you ever took**

 _"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life."_  
 _― John Lennon_

* * *

"My mom's pregnant." Bella announces.

"She is? That's great, Bells." Jacob tells her and Bella nods a small smile on her face that trembles at the corners, "It is great, right?

"Yes it is great, and my mother was…she's always wanted more kids…so yeah, it's really good." Her smile falling.

"But then why don't you look happy about it?" he asks.

"I am happy," she reassures him and she really is yet as always, some complication remains. "It's just I... I'm not going to get a chance to see my br…see her baby."

"Well, maybe you can ask Edward to postpone the wedding until René has the baby," Jacob suggests and Bella looks hopeful.

"You really think he would consider it?" Bella asks and Jacob hesitates.

"Sure, he loves you, right? He'll understand that this is important to you. He has to." He stops her for a second to give her that look that's meant to tell her she should just trust him because he knows what he's saying when in reality, he doesn't have the slightest clue how Edward will react.

Bella nods but doesn't agree with him. He doesn't know how much Edward wants his wedding to happen. Doesn't know about the pressure Alice puts on her every day to stop fooling around with Jacob and help with the wedding plans.

He doesn't see the way Edward's eyes darken any time she even hints at having doubts or wanting to wait just a little longer.

He doesn't know that the Volturi could come any day now and kill her for not following through with her end of the bargain.

He doesn't know…and she's not going to tell him, so she puts thoughts of Edward and her impending wedding aside and focuses on the easiness of being with Jake.

"I think we should celebrate," Bella says, suddenly.

"We should?" he asks surprised.

"Yes, let's do something stupid and reckless. The occasion really calls for it."

He smiles in spite of himself; remembering the last time Bella wanted to do something reckless she ended up jumping off a cliff and almost drowning.

"Sure thing, honey. What did you have in mind?" he asks.

Bella smirks.

"Have you ever been to Pete's bar?"

...

They drink a lot as well, more than they should, but this is their only chance to act like the fucking teenagers they are…Irresponsible drinking is just another part of the experience.

"This was great," Bella says, walking down the street and leaning her weight against Jacob's left side, as he half-carries her out of the bar.

They've been heavily drinking, shooting darts, and playing pool.

They even sang Karaoke for a little bit, before Bella stumbled and almost fell off stage.

That's when the bar owner decided it was time for them to go.

"I'm glad we did this," Jacob slurs, feeling the effects of the six _'Bastards On the Beach'_ he had. It takes a lot to get him drunk but he finally found a drink with enough alcohol to hit him.

A random thought suddenly crosses his mind. "Oh my god, did I ever tell you about this story with Edward?"

Bella blinks at him. "What story?"

"You remember when we were stuck together in that tent during the newborn battle?" Jacob asks and Bella nods slowly.

"I was talking to Edward and I was like if she chooses me would you kill me," Jacob takes a moment to suppress his laughter and prepares to mimic that annoying, condescending way that Edward speaks, "And he was like, That's an intriguing idea…but no, "

Bella tries to hold in her laughter, but it comes out and she grips Jacob's shirt to keep from falling as she giggles uncontrollably.

"That's funny right?" Jacob asks, out of breath from laughing so hard.

"That sounds just like him!"

"I know," Jacob nods in agreement and chuckles.

The laughter fades and Bella stares up at Jacob, her eyes twinkling with joy as she traces her hand over his chest; his muscles contract with a sharp intake of breath. A lump grows in his throat to the sight of her tilting her head and leaning in closer. She's going to kiss him outside of this bar, while wearing another man's ring.

And he doesn't want to stop her. Being friends with Bella is great but the thought of being with her, like actually having her, it too much of a temptation to resist.

There are reasons, Jacob knows he has reasons why he they shouldn't kiss… but he's can't remember what they are through the fog of alcohol, the passion in Bella's eyes, the way her tongue darts out just barely to wet her lips.

She places a kiss on his lips, and lets her lips it lingers there for a good seven seconds before pulling away, leaving him to want more.

"I'm going to miss you," She says barely above whisper, as her gaze remains locked with his.

"I'm going to miss you more, Bella,"

Jacob leans forward, closes the space between them, and melts as his lips meet Bella's for the second time. She groans, opening her mouth and deepening the kiss. He loses himself in the gentle tangle of their tongues, then he pulls away with a choked off groan.

He shakes his head, fighting through the haze.

"This is…we can't do this," He slurs and Bella pants, a blush staining her cheeks.

"Right," she mutters and Jacob smiles.

"This never happened," he states and Bella nods.

"Never happened,"

It never happens three more times after that.

Then Bella agrees that they should stop drinking together.


	7. Chapter 7

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **―** **Shannon L. Alder**

 **Chapter Seven: Don't break the spell of a life spent trying to do well**

 _When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable."_  
 _― Jess C. Scott, __The Intern _

* * *

Jacob suggests they grab a pizza and head to his place and Bella enthusiastically agrees. They stop at Pacific Pizza, which is on the way. Jacob had called in the order and they pick it up. They stop at a convenience store and Jacob buys some snacks and a six pack of beer, which is easy to do when you look like an adult, and they go back to his house.

Once they get to Jacob's home, Bella kicks off my shoes and grabs some paper plates and napkins from the cabinet in the kitchen, while Jacob carries the pizza to the couch.

"It's good, right?" Jacob asks, with a mouth full of food.

Bella smiles and nods. "It's really good. You know, I can't remember when I last had pizza."

She hasn't really been able to have dinner at home. She's been staying at the Cullen's after a really intense argument with Charlie and the Cullen's meals were really over-the-top and refined.

She missed eating regular food, instead of the French cuisine that Alice reads out of a cook book.

Jacob furrows his brows and looks at her confused, and then smiles. "We can have it whenever you want, Bells,"

"Thanks, Jake,"

Halfway through their meal, Bella notices that Jacob has a big blob of sauce on his chin. She reaches over with her finger and wipes it off with a giggle.

"Slob," she complains, holding out her finger so he can see.

"Neat-freak," he laughed at her and leaned in and licked the sauce off her finger.

Bella's eyes widen and she pulls her hand back shocked. Jacob grins and goes back to eating. Bella glares at him and slaps him over the head before following his lead. She manages to eat three slices and Jacob finishes the rest.

After eating, they continued to sit on the couch and talk quietly. She finds out about what's going on with the Pack and Bella tells him a few details about what's going on in her life; skipping the wedding and the Cullens which doesn't leave her much to talk about.

Jacob makes up for her half of the conversation with jokes and funny stories. She can feel the soft cloth of his blue shirt brush against her skin; it's easy, it's _wonderful_ , this closeness. There is something ever so familiar and soothing to be sitting here on Jacob's worn out couch with the smell of pizza. They're sitting close together, and she watches the relaxed smile on his lips and she can't help but smile too.

She wonders if this is what life with Jacob would be like. She cuddles into his side and closes her eyes. She's asleep within seconds and Jacob dozes off shortly after.

It's the first time in weeks that either of them sleeps without having nightmares.

In her purse, Bella's phone rings but nobody answers.


	8. Chapter 8

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter Eight: Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight** _  
_

 _"Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman)."_  
 _ _― Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being__

* * *

A week goes by before Jacob sees Bella again, He tried calling her but Edward kept answering the phone and saying she was busy.

Jacob called Charlie but he hadn't heard from her since their fight.

Jacob glances at his phone and debates calling Bella again but is too tired after patrolling with Sam and the others. He goes into his room and flops on the bed, throws his shorts on the floor, and immediately falls asleep. He wakes up a few hours later when he feels a dip in the bed. He opens one eye groggily and is sure he's dreaming. That's the only explanation for Bella to be lying next to him.

"Hi." she whispers, smiling nervously.

He reaches out and pokes her in the shoulder, hard.

"Ow! Why did you do that, Jake?" Bella yelps, sitting up and rubbing her shoulder.

His eyes open wide and he's instantly alert.

"Oh, Crap! Bella? You're really here?"

"Of course It's me. How many other girls have an emergency key to your house?" she asks with a glare, crossing her arms.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob questions, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eye. "And why are you in bed with me?"

"Edward and I had a fight," she states, "And I stormed out,"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, why would I lie about that?"

"Wow, what did you fight about?" Jacob asks.

Bella looks down at the blanket and doesn't answer.

"Bells?"

She looks up at him and her eyes are suspiciously dry; something that never happened after a fight with Edward.

"Why are you here?" he asks, firmly.

"I didn't have anywhere else to go," she replies, not meeting his eyes.

"But why me? Why not Charlie? You know he misses you and would jump at the chance to have you back home, even if it's only a night," Jacob tells her.

"I love Charlie and I'm not mad anymore…but I feel like he would try to use my fight with Edward as an excuse to call off the wedding,"

"And you trust me not to put pressure on you about the wedding?"

"I trust you not to hurt me," Bella corrects, with a smile.

"You know, I'd never hurt you, Bella," Jacob says with a grin and wraps his arm around her shoulder.

He lays back down on the bed and Bella curls into his side, lying her head on his chest.

"I know; you are the only person who can make smile even when I don't want to. You bring me to live and let me experience new things. You motivate me. You make me want to be a better person." Bella confesses and blushes.

"Wow." Jacob's eyes widen. "What brought this on?"

"I don't know. Edward's been keeping me busy all week and I…I just really missed you," she pauses and Jacob waits, "I never realized how big a part of my life you've become were until I had to go a week without seeing you or talking to you or texting you,"

"I missed you too, honey," Jacob says simply.

"That's all you have to say," Bella pouts. "I made a big sentimental speech and all I get is an _'I missed you too'_?" she moves to get up but Jacob tightens his arm around her.

"Bella, I really, _really_ missed you," he hesitates and places Bella's hand on his heart, "If I had a single flower for every time I thought about you then we could walk forever in the garden of my longing," Jacob declares and Bella rolls her eyes.

"Claudia Ghandi, right?" Jacob shrugs and Bella smiles. "A little theatrical but I'll take it,"

"So, I make you a better person, huh?" Jacob questions, once he was sure she wasn't going to try to leave again.

"You're the best person I know. Sometimes I worry that you're too good for me," Bella sighs.

"Too good to be your friend?"

Instead of answering his question, Bella burrows her face in his chest and breathes deeply.

"Can you give me a shirt to sleep in? This is a little uncomfortable,"

Jacob glances at her bright, pink, sweater dress and raises an eyebrow.

"Alice, threw out all my clothes and has taking it upon herself to turn me into her own personal Barbie," Jacob's other eyebrow joins the first and Bella growls. "I'm really tired. Can I please borrow a shirt?"

"Sure thing." Jacob says and lifts up to take off the one he's wearing.

"What are you doing?" Bella squeaks, covering her eyes.

Jacob chuckles.

"Relax, Bella. It's not like it's something you haven't seen before," he jokes and hands her his shirt.

Bella takes it and sighs.

"You don't have any clean ones?"

"It is clean."

"You wore this one,"

"I have to do laundry tomorrow, okay?"

Bella makes Jacob turn around while she changes into his shirt, which comes down to her thighs, and climbs back into bed.

Jacob's glad his dad's already asleep because he knows his dad would probably have a fit if he caught them. Bella only in his shirt and underwear and him in just his boxers, curled up under his blanket. She has her back to him and there is about a foot of space between them, and she's close to falling on the floor.

"What are you doing over there?" Jacob asks, rolling his eyes. "Come here,"

He pulls her against him and wraps his arms around her. Bella sighs in happiness.

"Jacob, my Jacob," Bella breathes as she falls asleep.

Jacob knows that if she said that a few months ago then he would have been over the roof with joy...Instead, he kisses the back of her neck and then shuts his eyes and goes to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **―** **Shannon L. Alder**

 **Chapter Nine: Sun is up, I'm a mess, got to get out now, gotta run from this. Here comes the shame, here comes the shame**

 _"There's nothing more beautiful to me than waking up in the middle of the night because you slowly and quietly pull me in closer to you. And how you can't sleep comfortably until your body is completely touched by mine._ _||I feel at home in your arms||_ _"_  
 _ _― Yadira Pantoja__

* * *

Someone banging on the door wakes them in the morning.

Bella doesn't have to open her eyes to know who it is and tenses.

Jacob rolls out of bed, unbothered by the interruption of his sleep, confidently answers his door. She gets up too, and nervously follows after him.

Edward's standing on the porch, like she expected, and her heart sinks.

"Good morning, Jacob." Edward greets, before pushing past him to enter Jacob's house. "How did I know that I would find you here, Bella? After I specifically told you-"

"Edward, can we please not do this right now?" Bella interrupts, tugging at the bottom of Jacob's shirt, wishing it was longer.

"Nothing happened, Cullen. Bella just needed a place to sleep," Jacob says calmly.

"Nothing happening? Then why are you both half naked?"

"I'm always half-naked,"

"I suggest that she spends a little less time with you and instead of listening to me she runs off in the middle of the night and strips for you,"

Jacob struggles to control his temper at what Edward is implying and Bella places a calming hand on his shoulder.

"Edward, it's not his fault." Bella says quietly.

A look of revulsion and spite crosses Edward's face, as he glances at Bella's hand on Jacob's shoulder, before he masks it under false concern.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I was just concerned about you. I didn't know where you were and I called all your other friends and your cell. Is this because I wouldn't have sex with you?" he asks and Jacob's eyes darken.

"I didn't have sex with Bella, Cullen. We just slept," he says and Bella flinches when Jacob turns his gaze to her. "Right, Bells?"

"Jacob and I didn't…you know that me and Jacob are just friends. I was frustrated and I needed to escape for a little while…" she trails off and drop her hand from Jacob's shoulder.

"Do you want to call off the wedding, love? Because if you're having doubts…" Edward trails off and gives her a look.

"No, Edward. I still want to marry you. I love you," Bella says, but doesn't sound very convincing.

"I love you too, but it seems like you're spending more time with your friend than with your fiancée,"

Silence descends upon them.

"I only have a few months to spend with him. I'm going to be with you for eternity. Why can't you understand?" she asks close to tears.

"Of course I understand. I apologize for getting in the way of your time with your friend. Maybe I should go away again for a few months. Maybe take a trip to Italy…"

"That's enough." Jacob growls as he watches Bella's eyes widen in panic. "I think you should leave."

"Yes, I'll let you finish your dognap. Are you coming, Bella?"

She looks up at him and tries to search for the love amidst all the vindictiveness and the arrogance. She loves him. she knows that she loves him and she knows that he loves her…but…she barely ever listens when he talks about the wedding and tenses whenever he mentions it. They never really hug or cuddle or kiss. Will that change once she becomes a vampire? Will he finally stop keeping her at a distance?

Jacob is her friend. He loves her, he hugs her, and doesn't treat her like she'll shatter into pieces at the slightest touch. She talks to him and he listens. He talks and she's interested. She misses him when he's gone and hates being away from him. She loves him.

So she looks Edward in the eye and tells him with all the self-assurance she can muster, "No, I think I'll stay a little while longer."

Edward goes still, his eyes darken with anger and his fists clench. Then in a flash, his face turns cold and emotionless.

"Very well, Bella. I'll see you at home," he says coolly, before walking out of the house.

Once he's gone, she stands there shaking and fighting the tears. Jacob doesn't say anything; he just wraps his arms around her.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that," she says, quietly.

"It's okay,"

Bella pushes herself out of his arms.

"I had a really nice time last night.," she giggles, "First time I ever sleep with a guy without any pants and it's not even my fiancé,"

Jacob's eyes flick down to her legs and she blushes when she notices the way his nostrils flare and his pupils dilate.

"I'm glad you had fun," he suddenly smirks roguishly, "Maybe next time you can sleep with me without a shirt too,"

"In your dreams," she says, then sighs. "I should go,"

She wonders how mad Edward is going to be, then decides that it really doesn't matter. She's given up so many things to be with Edward; Jacob's the one thing she won't compromise on.

"I can take you home, if you like?" he offers.

"No," she replies. "Thanks, Jake but I need go by myself."

She gives him a weak smile and leaves quickly before can give in and throws herself back into Jacob's arms.


	10. Chapter 10

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter Ten: We're so close to reaching that famous happy end, And almost believing, this one's not pretend**

 _"I'm not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found after this life, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust, to be so human."_  
 _― C. JoyBell C._

* * *

He knocks gently on Bella's door.

He hears the sound of her turning pages, probably from one of her unrealistic romance novels, and the quiet sniffles. He can smell the salty scent of her tears. He knocks again, louder than before.

"I'm fine, Dad. I just want to be alone right now," he hears her say, "Edward and I just had an argument. I'm not calling off my …" she trails off as she opens the door and sees him standing there, with a sheepish smile on his face.

Her eyes are rimmed with red and her cheeks were still wet. She's wearing another outfit that Alice must picked for her; a dark-blue knee-length skirt, a white pearl-button blouse and a black cardigan.

"What are you doing here, Jacob?" she asks, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Charlie called me." Jacob says, and Bella blows out a frustrated breath.

"Of course he did," she mutters angrily under her breath.

"But I was already coming to see you anyway."

"You were?" Bella questions, looking surprised.

Jacob nods.

"I was worried about you. I know that Cullen might have been mad at you for what happened the other night and I don't want to come between you and Edward. I know that he has a habit of…" he trails off, trying to find a way to say this without offending her. "Acting irrational when it comes to you hanging with me,"

Bella shakes her head.

"We talked it through. He's just a little insecure about our…friendship. But he should trust me. I'm not just going to jump into bed with you every time we have a disagreement," she says and when Jacob gives her a smug look and opens his mouth, to inform her that she did in fact hop into bed with him, she glares at him, "You know what I mean."

"So, did he throw you out?" Jacob asks, seeing her suitcase laying on the bed, with clothes spilling out of it.

Bella follows Jacob's gaze and laughs.

"No, I just…I wanted to spend more time with Charlie," she lies quickly.

Honestly, she just needed some space. Edward was constantly hovering over her shoulder, giving her suspicious looks. Alice was treating her more like a pet than a friend; dressing her up and telling her how to sit, talk, eat…it was driving her crazy. Jasper wouldn't get within ten feet of her, something about it being too tempting. Esme was okay but she kept reminding Bella of her own pregnant mother who Edward wouldn't let her go visit because it was **"Too dangerous with the threat of the Volturi looming."**

She talks to her mom everyday on the phone and sends her emails but it doesn't feel the same as being there with her.

Jacob knows she's lying but decides not to pry.

"Alright, so everything's cool?" Jacob questions and Bella nods.

"Everything is perfect." Bella fibs, "Anyway, now that you know that I'm fine, you can go home." She starts to close her door but he stops her her, his hand holding her wrist.

"Wait," Jacob says. "I wanted to talk to you,"

"About what?" Bella asks, and Jacob gives a pointed look towards the stairs where Charlie is probably eavesdropping.

Bella moves aside and allows Jacob into her room. Jacob sits on her bed and Bella sits beside him.

"Bella, you once told me that I know you better than anyone. Do you remember that?" Jacob looks deeply in her eyes as he waits for her answer.

"I remember," Bella mumbles. "Why?"

"Because I want you to stop lying to me," Jacob states and Bella's eyes widen.

"What?"

"I want you to stop lying to me. If you don't want to tell me something then just say that you don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Bella feels her throat go dry and she tentatively nods. Jacob pats her on the shoulder and gives her a half-smile.

"Now that we've got that out of the way," Jacob muses and reaches in his back pocket, "I got you something,"

He hands Bella an envelope and she opens it. Inside is a ticket to Phoenix.

"H-how did you-?" Bella trembles, staring at the ticket in her hand.

"I had a lot save up and I had to do a few odd jobs here and there but it was worth it," Jacob smiles. "I know how much you wanted to see your mo-" and before he can finish Bella is in his arms and he can feel her heart beating against his chest.

"Edward thinks it's too dangerous to see her," she whispers into his shoulder, "He thinks I'll bring trouble her way and the rest of the Cullens agree but I… I've always taken care of my mom. I know she has Phil but I just…I want to see her and I want to be there for here. I just wish he..."

"Understood," Jacob finishes for her, stroking her hair and Bella nods.

Sometimes she wishes that Edward was more like Jacob…but there will only ever be one Jacob Black and that's more than enough for her.

* * *

It's Bella's engagement party.

Jacob showed up with Seth, dressed casually in his jeans and T-shirt, even though Seth had tried to convince him to dress up more.

He wasn't here to blend in or talk to any leeches.

He's just here to see Bella. He hasn't seen her since he gave her the tickets to Phoenix three weeks ago. She went to visit her mom and they emailed but it wasn't the same as seeing her in person.

He spots her talking to her friends from school, the only non-vampires besides him, Seth, and Bella.

Charlie had refused to come in protest and Phil was worried about the effects the plane would have on René's pregnancy.

Bella's wearing a short, blue, cocktail dress that stops mid-thigh with a sewn-beaded bodice and high-heeled, silver, stilettos. Her hair is pulled up into a bun and her hand is on Edward's arm.

She doesn't look like his Bells anymore.

Jacob starts to make his way to her but Alice catches his arm.

"Oh, No," she exclaims, "You're not coming in here looking like that" she wrinkles her nose in distaste, "This is a black-tie event,"

"Well I don't have any formal wear so…" Jacob tries to brush past her and she tightens her grip on his arm.

"Come with me," she demands and drags him out of the room.

"Where are we going?" Jacob asks, digging his feet in the ground and trying to snatch his arm back.

"I brought an extra suit for Emmet, but it'll have to do for you," Alice explains.

"I don't want a suit!" Jacob growls and Alice digs her fingernails in his arms.

"No suit, no party," she pauses, a smirk on her lips, "And you wouldn't want to disappoint Bella, right?"

Jacob growls under his breath and reluctantly lets her take him away.

….

Jacob fiddles with his suit. It's tight, itchy, and uncomfortable to move in. He tugs at the cufflinks and Alice slaps his hands away.

"Stop that!" she orders, and straights his tie, "You almost look less like an uncultured mutt in that outfit."

Jacob glared at her.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" he asks and Alice tilts her head to the side.

"Don't push your luck, dog," she says and opens the door to the dining area.

Jacob looks around for Bella and Alice flicks his ears.

"Ow!" Jacob growls, rubbing his ear, "What was that for?"

"You better behave yourself, Dog," Alice hisses and then almost shoves him into his chair. "And try not to get your fleas and slobber on any of the guests,"

"I'm not making any promises, bubblegum-bitch," Jacob taunts back and Alice huffs before going off to greet people at the door.

Jacob rest his chin on his palms and scans the room for Bella.

He sees her talking to Mike Newton and chuckles at the love-sick look on his face. He hopes he hadn't looked that pathetic back when he was chasing Bella.

Bella gives Mike an uncomfortable smile and walks away from him. She looks around the room and her shoulders droop.

Jacob wonders who she's looking for.

He glances over at Alice, who is talking to the Blonde-leech, and smirks.

"Hey, Bella!" he calls loud, attracting attention to himself and making Alice's lips curl up in a silent snarl.

Bella's face lights up and her head snaps in his direction. Jacob waves her over and she takes the seat next to him.

"You came," she breathes, amazed.

"Of course I did," Jacob states and Bella smiles.

"I didn't think you were going to make it," Bella admits and Jacob places his hand on her shoulder.

"Well, here I am," Jacob jokes and Bella giggles.

They talk for a while. Bella tells him about her visit to her mom and how pulls out an ultrasound photo from her little purse. Jacob listens and makes comments. Jacob makes jokes and Bella laughs. After a while, Bella goes quiet, frowning as she watches Edward mingle with the guest.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jacob asks, after the third time Bella shifts in her seat.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Bella asks, looking away from Edward and meeting Jacob's eyes.

"It's just...You don't seem happy."

"It's just stress. The wedding date is getting closer and there are a lot of things that aren't ready yet," Bella says and forces a smile.

"I told you not to lie to me," Jacob states, giving her a look and she lets the fake smile drop.

"I'm sorry," she says and Jacob smiles.

"That's okay, Bella. Here," he places his hand on top of hers and Bella's face turns scarlet before she pulls her hand back.

"What are you doing?" she squeaks, glancing around to make sure that Edward hadn't seen that.

He kept making comments about how often Bella and Jacob touch each other. He said they did it **"Too often to be just friends,"**

She catches Edward turning his head back to his guest and knows that he's probably going to mention this later.

Jacob smirks.

"I'm de-stressing you," he states and when Bella doesn't move back he takes her hand again and turns it over.

His fingers pressed gently into her hand and glides along her palm. He traces the line arching from the top and then starts writing invisible words on her palm.

After a while of Jacob writing on her hand, Bella's frown fades into a soft smile.

"Why are you doing that?" she asks.

"Doing what?" Jacob replies, and Bella laughs.

"Why are you writing on my hand?"

Jacob shrugs and let's go of her hand.

"It made you laugh, didn't it?"

"What were you writing?"

"Secrets that aren't meant for innocent ears," Jacob jokes, trying to sound mysterious and Bella socks him in the shoulder.

"Tell me!" she demands.

"Guess," Jacob replies.

"Was it something mean?"

"Nope," he says, popping the 'p'.

"Something dirty?" Bella mouths, glancing in Edward's direction.

"Nu Uh,"

"Come on," Bella whines, "Tell me,"

"No, you'll have to figure it out later,"

Bella glares at him for a few seconds and then her face twitches and she giggles. Jacob chuckles with her.

"I'm glad you decided to come," she says, once the laughter fades.

"Why wouldn't I come?"

Bella shrugs.

"This doesn't seem like your type of crowd," Bella states and looks at all the vampires in the room.

"Doesn't seem like your type of crowd either," Jacob mumbles then cringes, "Sorry…I didn't mean that,"

Bella's shakes her head, unaffected.

"You're right. This isn't my type of crowd. I don't fit in here next to all these sophisticated, gorgeous people," she looks down at her glass of non-alcoholic champagne, "I'm so plain and _human_ ," she spits the last word out with such bitterness that Jacob feels slightly offended.

He was human once.

"But one day I'm going to be able to fit in here. I'll be dazzling and superior and strong and-" Bella's eyes light up as she talks about her life as a vampire.

"Bella, there's _nothing_ plain about you," Jacob interrupts, determinedly and Bella looks at him, curiously. "You're already beautiful and strong, and _dazzling_ just the way you are,"

"Of course _you_ think that. You love me," Bella mutters, rolling her eyes and then slaps a hand over her mouth, grimacing.

She knew that was probably a sore subject for Jacob but Jacob just throws back his head and laughs, attracting annoyed glances from Edward and their guests. Bella ducks her head away from the attention.

"Yeah, I do love you, Bells. But that doesn't make anything I said less true," he says, "You're perfect just the way you are."

"Thank you, Jake," she says, beaming.

"Don't thank me for telling the truth," Jacob states with a grin.

A couple of vampires pass by their table, wrinkling their noses in disgust and giving Jacob unfriendly looks. Jacob returns their looks with a sneer of his own and they move away.

Bella wonders how vampires and werewolves can hate each other so much.

Will she stop liking Jacob once she becomes a vampire? Will his pleasant smell of sunshine and peppermint repulse her?

Will she repulse him?

Bella feels cold inside.

"Jake, are we going to be okay after this?" Bella asks, anxiously.

"After what?" Jacob questions, pulling his eyes away from the vampires he was glaring at.

"After I become a vampire. I know you say that we can still be friends…but are you sure?" Bella asks and Jacob hesitates.

"I'm not going to lie and say it won't be difficult," Jacob admits. "I _am_ a werewolf and you will be my um… natural enemy," Jacob mumbles the last part and Bella gives Jacob a hopeless look.

"But I think that we can make it work even if it has to be from a distance," Jacob tries to give her a reassuring smile.

"Right," Bella mutters, feeling disheartened, "Distance,"

"Don't be sad, Bells. You know, I've always care about you. no matter what you smell like or what form you're in,"

"For real?"

"Sure, sure,"

"And you don't think I'm making a mistake?" Bella asks and Jacob's hand clenches into a fists.

"Bella I-" he doesn't want to lie to her.

"Just tell me you can be happy for me." She twists the engagement ring on her left finger and they both look at it.

Bella looks back up at Jacob, her face a mask of uncertainty, and he reaches out to brush a strand of hair, that had come lose from her bun, from her face.

"I am happy for you, Bella," he says and sighs, "Just promise to keep in touch after all this is over."

"I promise,"

Jacob wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulls her into a sideway hug in their seats, and gives her a kiss on the top of her head, just as Edward comes over to their table.

"Bella, would you care to dance?" he asks and Bella glances at Jacob.

"Go, I'll be fine," Jacob reassures her and she gives him a smile before taking Edward's hand and letting him lead her to the dance floor.

Edward and Bella flow into each other's arms, their heads bent together, Edward's shirt matching Bella's dress, Bella stumbles and blushes, embarrassed by her ungracefulness. Edward gives her a patronizing smile, blames it on her humanity, and lifts her so that her feet rest on top of his.

Jacob fights back a snicker.

It kind of reminds him of when a little girl learns how to dance with their father.

He sits at the table alone, sipping his non-alcoholic champagne, wishing it was something stronger, his eyes never leaving Bella as she and Edward twirl around the floor.

She doesn't look very happy and Jacob wonders if that will change once she feels like she belongs.

The band starts another song and Edward tries to tempt Bella into another dance.

Jacob watches them for a long moment before he pushes himself up and puts his drink down. He straightens his suit jacket and makes his way over to the couple.

"Mind if I cut in?" he asks and Bella gives him a grateful look.

Edward glares at him.

"Yes, I do mind," he hisses and Bella gives him a sharp look.

"Just one dance," Jacob says, "Then I have to leave,"

Edward's eyes light up, while Bella's shoulders droop.

"Well if it's a farewell dance…" Edward trails off and leaves them alone.

Bella takes his hand and he places her other hand on his shoulder. He puts his free hand on the small of her back and they move to the rhythm of the music.

"You're really leaving?" Bella asks, and Jacob smiles sadly.

"There's really no point in me staying," he says and pulls them around in a slow circle, "You should mingle with your guests,"

"It's more fun when you're here with me," Bella mumbles, laying her head on Jacob's chest as they sway.

"I'm glad you invited me," Jacob says, softly. "Though it still feels weird to see you dressed up like this,"

Bella laughs.

"It feels weird to me too. But it's just something I'm going to have to get used to,"

"It's something we'll both have to get used to," Jacob replies and Bella pulls back her head to look up at him.

His lips are stretched into a soft smile but his eyes look unbearably sad.

"Jacob, I-" Bella starts and Jacob lifts her off her feet and spins them around.

"Hush, Bells," he begs tenderly, "Let's just…let's just dance, please?"

Bella nods and lays her head on his chest again, listening to his heartbeat. Jacob rest his chin on top of her head and closes his eyes.

Edward watches them from across the room, his hand clenched into a fist behind his back.

* * *

 **Author's Note: The song in the Tile of this chapter is "So Close" by JON MCLAUGHLIN.**

 **That's also the song that Bella and Jacob dance to for those who are curious.**


	11. Chapter 11

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter Eleven: Cut me down...But it's you who have further to fall**

 _It's not that you should never love something so much that it can control you._  
 _It's that you need to love something that much so you can never be controlled._  
 _It's not a weakness._  
 _It's your best strength."_  
 _― Patrick Ness, __The Ask and the Answer_

* * *

Edward comes into his bedroom to find Bella sitting on his bed staring out his window, looking into the forest.

"Bella, what are you doing here?"

She looks over her shoulder at him and he can see that she's been crying.

"It's a girl," she says, quietly.

"What?" Edward asks, confused.

"My mom's having a girl. We thought…I thought it was going to be a boy. But I was wrong," she gives him a teary smile. "I'm going to have a little sister,"

Edward gives Bella a warm smile.

"That's wonderful, Love," Edward says and walks over towards her.

"I'm going to have a little sister," Bella repeats, "And I'm never going to meet her,"

Edward stiffens, knowing where this is going.

"Are you having second thoughts?" Edward asks, and Bella shakes her head.

"I want to postpone the wedding," she states. "Just until after my sister is born,"

Edward sighs and sits beside her on his bed.

"Bella, you know how dangerous it is for you to be around them. What if the Volturi-"

"You asked for ten years," Bella states quietly.

"What?" Edward questions and Bella meets his gaze firmly.

"Before you proposed," Bella says, "You asked me to give you ten years,"

Edward cringes.

"You said no," Edward reminds her and Bella sighs.

"All I'm asking for is a few more months. Please, Edward?"

"Are you sure this is just about meeting your sister? This isn't about…you're not regretting your choice, are you?"

"What?" Bella asks, her expression wounded. "No, Edward. I love you. you know that."

"Do I? Because it seems to me that maybe you wish you had chosen fire instead of ice," Edward's eyes darken and Bella looks away.

"This is not about Jacob," Bella mumbles.

"Funny, it feels like this is about Jacob." Edward says and Bella glares at him.

"What's your problem? I chose you. I'm marrying _you!_ Jacob is my friend-"

"A friend you kissed passionately on top of a snowy mountain and who you admitted to being in love with." Edward interrupted.

"I love you more," Bella whispers and Edward places his hand on her thigh and forces his eyes to soften.

"That was true then…but what about now?" he asks.

Bella sighs, her shoulder slumping, and Edward fights back a triumphant grin.

"Maybe you should spend a little less time with Jacob," Edward suggests. "It's starting to confuse you."

Bella head snaps up and Edward is surprised by the anger he sees in them.

"No," Bella says.

"No?" Edward repeats.

"No," Bella stands up and crosses her arms. "I'm not going to say that I don't still have feelings for Jacob. But what am I supposed to do? He's my best friend and he was there for me at a time when I really needed someone. A time when you weren't!"

Edward flinches.

"So yes, I love him but you know what? I chose you! So, you're just going to have to deal with it!" Bella shouts.

Edward stands up and tries to calm her.

"Bella, I'm just trying to do what's best for you." Edward explains and stares into her eyes. "If you would cut down on the time you spend with Jacob-"

Bella shakes her head.

"Then you can use that time to be with your mother," Edward blurts impulsively and Bella's eyes soften.

"Those three weeks, when you were away at your mother's, weren't enough, right? Well, I'll let you go visit your mother every weekend if you cut down on the time you spend with Jacob," Edward bargains and Bella feels like her heart is being ripped in half.

He's really going to make her choose between Jacob and her mom?

"Don't you trust me?" Bella questions, her voice raw with pain.

Edward's nostrils flare as he tries to keep his face impassive.

"I do trust you, Love. But it's best not to take chances with the your life," Edward says, then gives her a charming smile. "After all, love, you are my life,"

 ** _You are my life now._**

"You know, I thought that was the most romantic thing I had ever heard and after you said it I think I fell a little more in love with you," Bella says, "I can't believe you would use it as an excuse to keep me from seeing my friend,"

Edward doesn't look the least bit guilty.

Bella wishes that she could slap him, without breaking her hand, and her face hardens into a scowl as she breathes deeply through her nose. She turns on her heels and storms toward the door.

"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand." He calls, and she slams the door so hard that few things fall off Edward's wall.

"She'll forgive me in the morning," Edward says to himself and smirks "She always does,"


	12. Chapter 12

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter Twelve: Maybe one day you'll understand why...You only know you love her when you let her go**

 _"I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It's okay if you have to leave us. It's okay if you want to stop fighting."_  
 _― Gayle Forman, If I Stay _

* * *

Bella shows up at Jacob's house with a bag of DVDs and a pack of extra butter popcorn.

"Are you busy?" she asks and Jacob shakes his head.

"No, I'm not doing anything," he says and thinks about the blind date that Quil and Embry had set up for him tonight.

He wasn't going to go…but as the date of Bella's wedding approaches, the loneliness is starting to get to him.

Maybe it would be nice to have a date to bring with him. Someone to hold his hand at the table and dance with. Someone to cry with when the bride says "I do," even if they'll be crying for two different reasons.

"Come in," he says and moves to the side to let her in.

Bella comes in and notices, for the first time, what Jacob is wearing. A sports jacket that drew attention to his broad shoulders, dark jeans, and a grey button down dress shirt.

"Are you sure you weren't doing anything?" Bella asks and Jacob gives her a smile.

"I was just going to go to somewhere with Embry and Quil but it's okay." Jacob says and takes off his jacket.

Bella feels bad.

"I should have called first. I'll just come back tomorrow…" Bella starts to leave and Jacob grabs her arm.

"No, wait," he says and pulls his cell out of his pocket.

He sends a quick text to Embry, that he was hanging with Bella, and then gave Bella a smile.

"There," he says, turning the phone around so Bella can read the message, "All taken care of,"

Bella feels guilty for ruining his night and wonders how many times he's put his life on hold for her.

It's not fair.

He looks Bella over and stifle a laugh when he sees how she's dressed. A long, black, wool coat, a pink dress with green horizontal stripes, and pink high heels,

"What's up with the heels?" he asks and Bella rolls her eyes.

"Alice got rid of all my other shoes. She said I need to practice walking in heels for the wedding," Bella sighs, "Honestly, I'd rather go barefooted,"

Jacob smiles softly, thinking about the wedding he'd planned for Bella and himself. It would have taken place on First beach and it would have been casual, both barefooted to feel the sand between their toes.

But that dream was long gone.

"So, what brings you over at…" Jacob glances at the clock on his phone, "11:45? Is something wrong?"

Bella remembers the argument she had with Edward and the choice he gave her. Extra time with her mother for less time with Jacob.

"I just…" Bella remembers how she promised Jacob she wouldn't lie to him, "Edward said…He'll pay for me to go see my mom as often as I want if…if I agree to spend less time with you,"

"Oh," Jacob mumbles. "Well, I understand if-"

"I'm not going to take it," Bella blurts and Jacob looks at her surprised.

"What?" Jacob breathes, surprised.

"I have some money saved up and Charlie will loan me the rest. I can go see my mom and my sister but it'll be a onetime trip. I'll go and stay until after she's born. Maybe stay a little longer," Bella makes up a plan as she speaks.

It's not as much time as she wanted…but she'll make do with what she has.

"Are you sure, Bella?" Jacob asks and Bella nods.

"I'm sure,"

Jacob decides that he'll push more on the subject later...because of course Bella is going to have to take the deal. It's her mom.

"So, what do you want to do?" he questions and Bella smirks.

* * *

"Why are we watching this again?" Jacob asks and Bella pulls her eyes away from Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes, to glares at him.

"It's a classic, Jacob, The greatest love story of all time. So shut up and scoot over," Bella shushes.

"Come on, Bells," Jacob groans, scooting over to the edge of the couch so Bella could have the spot in the middle, "Can't we go out to another bar or something? Or at least watch an action movie? I think Iron Man is on,"

"Iron Man? That's what you want to watch? I thought you said you hate Robert Downey Jr." Bella glances over at her friend as she tucks her legs up to the side so she's laying against him.

"I don't hate Robert Downey Jr. I hated that they cast him as Sherlock Holmes– and I haven't watch another movie with him in it since, but Iron man was first action movie that came to mind," Jacob smirks.

"Whatever, we'll watch an action movie next, but tonight I'm in the mood for some Romeo & Juliet," Bella looks back at the television and lights up when she sees that they're on the balcony scene, "Now Shhh, this is my favorite part."

"I thought your favorite part is when they die," Jacob mumbles, and Bella slaps him on the arm.

"Be quiet!" she hisses and Jacob glances at her out of the corner of his eye.

Her dark brown hair falls down her back and he remembers how soft it felt between his fingers as they kissed. Her skin is pale and smooth, her neck exposed when she tilts her head a little. He looks at her, knowing, if she takes Edward's deal, this might be his last chance to see her as a human. He takes her in, memorizing her dark eye lashes on her pale skin to her pink lips. He loves the look on her face when she watched one of her favorite movies or reads her favorite books. The way her eyes light up like she had never seen the movie before and the way she mouthed the lines to her favorite parts.

He was going to miss this.

The movie is just getting to the end and Bella is close to tears as Juliet stands over Romeo's body. Jacob feels an ache in his chest.

Does she think that Juliet dying to be with Romeo is the same as her turning into a vampire to be with Edward?

Doesn't she know that when she died, he was going to morn for her the same way Romeo mourned for Juliet?

Only his won't end with suicide, he isn't weak like that.

Doesn't she realize how hard this is for him and how much he loves her?

Sure, he told her that they could be friends and that he'll love her even after death…but it won't be the same.

There will be no more blushing.

No more clumsiness.

No more heartbeats.

She'll just be a shell.

He takes in a deep breath as Juliet shoots herself, and gets up from the couch quickly, walking away and attracting Bella's attention. She looks from the movie to Jacob as he opens the door to leave.

"Where are you going?" she asks, confused.

"I need some air," Jacob mumbles, and Bella stands up.

"Wai-" she starts but is cut off by the slamming of the door.

She hits pause on the movie and follows Jacob. She catches him at the end of his drive way.

"Jake, what's wrong?" she says, grabbing his arm to stop him.

He spins around to face her, "I can't do this, Bella. it's too much."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Jacob shouts, then flinches at the hurt expression on Bella's face. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to yell. I just…I lied, Bella, I can't just be your friend and I can't pretend that I don't love you and that this isn't killing me. I've tried but I can't,"

The silence is deafening and Bella feels her world crashing around her.

"Jacob, I-"

"I'm exhausted from pretending that I don't want you anymore. But Bella I'm not going to ask you not to marry Edward and I'm not going to ask you to choose me. You know how I feel and I can't keep pushing what I want on you."

"Jacob, I-" Bella tries to get the words out.

"I'm done telling you what I want. What do you want?" Jacob asks.

"I…"

"Don't think about what I want. Don't think about what Edward wants. Don't think about what anyone else wants but you. What do you want?"

"It's not that easy, Jacob," Bella argues.

"What do you want, Bells? If it's Edward, then I'll accept that. I'll be your friend and we'll keep in contact long distance like we planned. If it's me then just-" Jacob breaks off and rubs his hand down his face. "Just tell me what you want and I'll respect it."

Bella freezes. She's engaged to Edward. She's getting married in a few weeks...a few months, if she can convince him to wait. She can't just….

 _What do you want?_

"Bella," Jacob whispers and takes a step towards her and Bella flinches.

"Don't touch me." She blurts and Jacob recoils, as if she slapped him.

Bella trembles, moving away from him, and he watches her silently, his hands limp at his sides. She takes a breath and bites her lip, not meeting his gaze.

"I – I have to go," Bella's voice is a choked whisper, "I'm sorry but I'm engaged, Jacob."

Grief hits him, flowing through his veins, filling his heart.

Jacob nods and struggles to keep a straight face.

"Bella," he says, quietly, "I think you should take Edward's deal."

Bella stiffens a little in shock. "What?"

"I think I need some time to...I need some time to get over you." He backs away from her. "We're still going to be friends. We'll always be friends…but I just… I get sad sometimes and lonely and I need… I've just grown so used to… to having you. Your touch, your smile, to you being here. I just need a break and you'll get to spend more time with your mother."

Bella tries to fight the lump forming in her throat. "If that's what you need."

Jacob nods and moves out of her way, so she can get to her truck.

"I'll call," he says as she got in her truck.

Bella gives him one final glance over her shoulder as she pulls away and he continues to stand there long after she's gone.

* * *

 **Author's note; This chapter was inspired by the Notebook.**

 **I debated having Bella be the one to ask for distance...but I don't think she'd be able to do it, at least, not yet.**


	13. Chapter 13

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter Thirteen: I'd tell you that I miss you... but I'm sure it doesn't matter at all**

 _"No, I don't miss you... Not in a way that one is missed._  
 _But I think of you._  
 _Sometimes._  
 _In the way that one might think of the summer sunshine_  
 _On a winter night..."_  
 _― Sreesha Divakaran, __Those Imperfect Strokes _

* * *

For the first two months, she buries herself in the wedding plans. Edward manages to talk her back into living with the Cullens again and Bella forces herself to get used to the constant feeling of being watched. Alice is mad at Bella for pushing back the wedding and Edward is so damn smug about her not talking to Jacob.

Edward's buys her gifts, tells her every day how much he loves her and "I knew you would make the right choice, my love." when he hands her the plane ticket to see her mom.

Bella tries not to be mad at him…but she can't help it.

Every weekend, she visits her mom and Phil, with Edward tagging along for the ride. She loves spending time with her mom. Rene is convinced that the baby can hear them and as already formed a personality in the womb. Whenever she has a craving she thinks that the baby telling her that she wants something.

"Here you go, mom," Bella says and her mom thanks her by placing Bella's hand on her stomach, so she can feel the baby kick.

"She likes your voice," Rene says and Bella giggles.

"Really?"

"Yes, she only kicks like that when you're around,"

Bella smiles.

"You two are going to be really close once she comes out," Rene states and Bella's smile falls.

She knows they probably won't have a chance to get close. Her sister won't even remember her. Her eyes meet Edward's through the window and he gives her a brilliant smile that she can't bring herself to return.

At night, she has nightmares, the same one that's been haunting her for months. She's an angry newborn with red eyes and fangs, growling at Jacob who's in wolf mode ready to kill her after she's killed everyone that she cares about in vamp-mode. Only it doesn't end there.

 _Jacob phases back into a human._

 _"_ _I love you, Bella." he whispers_ _and stands with his arms spread open as if he was waiting for her to hug him_

 _"_ _What do you want?" he asks as she pounces on him._

When she wakes up, she can still smell the metallic scent of his blood and taste his skin on her tongue.

It makes her sick.

She tells herself that things will get better. She just has to get used to this life. Once she's a vampire thing will be different. Once she's a vampire then everything she's giving up will be worth it.

She turned her attention to her fiancé as he wrapped an icy arm around her shoulders.

This is what she wanted. This is the choice she made. She loves Edward and she wants to be with him for the rest of forever.

Everything is how it's supposed to be.

So what is this familiar ache creeping back into her mind, into her heart?

"Another nightmare, Love?" Edward asks, quietly.

Bella nods her head but keeps her eyes from locking with his.

"I'm fine," she lies.

…..

Jacob goes through his house and cleans out every trace of Bella he could find. The empty space on his shelves where he kept pictures of the two of them together, and the book's that Bella gave him makes him lonelier than he thought it would.

He goes out with Quil, gets drunk and sings sad country music in the Karaoke bar, until almost everyone in the bar is as miserable as he is.

"I wonder do you think of me. I still love you. Do you think of me?" he sings and Quil has his phone out, recording him.

"Keep going, Jake! We're going to make you a star!" Quil hollers.

He hogs the stage for most of the night, with Quil handing him drinks every time a song stops.

"This sun is blinding me as it wakes me from the dark. I guess the world didn't stop for my broken heart,"

"That's a girl's song, Jake!" Quil calls, laughing his ass off.

The bar manger tries to pull him off the stage and Jacob shoves him so hard he falls off the stage.

"You want me to act like we never kissed. You want me to forget, pretend we've never met," he belts and security comes.

He ends up being banned from the bar and sings his own version of "Didn't you know how much I loved you," the walk home.

"We were best friends, now we don't even talk. You broke my heart! Ripped my world apart! Didn't you know how much I loved you? didn't you know how much I loved you, Bella!" he screams/shouts.

"Shut up!" Quil cries, covering his ears and running ahead of him.

Jacob sings louder and chases after him.

When he gets home writes a letter to Bella, telling her that he hates her and what he thinks of her and Edward and how much he misses her and loves her and begging her to change her mind because he needs her.

Luckily, Embry comes over and stops him before he can mail it.

He wakes up the next morning, burns the letter and promises to never touch another drop of alcohol for as long as he lives.

He hopes Bella's dealing with their separation better than he is.

...

Alice dresses her up in more expensive clothing that she hates and Bella can feel herself fading.

"I'm going to have dinner with Charlie tonight," she tells Edward.

Edward nods.

"I'll drive you," he offers.

"That's okay," Bella says and Edward's eyes darken.

She sees his eyes flick to Alice and knows that he's checking on her future. Making sure that it isn't going to disappear for a couple of hours.

"I'd feel better if you allowed me to take you," he pushes and Bella wants to scream.

She's not going to see Jacob. She just wants some space.

She bites her tongue though and nods her head. Edward talks the whole drive about how much he loves her and how happy she's making him. Bella sinks deeper into her seat and closes her eyes.

Charlie spends the whole dinner trying to talk her out of marrying Edward and Bella doesn't even have the energy to defend herself.

She stops sleeping.

It's almost like practice for when she becomes a vampire.

Every time she closes her eyes, she sees the never ending darkness of her life.

It's almost too much to bear.

She constantly glances at her phone, hoping for Jacob to call. She misses him so much. It's like a piece of her is missing.

Scrolling though the pictures, she comes across the photo her and Jacob singing Karaoke, drunk off their asses, at Pete's Bar. She smiles and clicks to the next one, which is a picture of her and Jacob making faces at the camera and laughed, even though her heart ached for her friend. Her finger swipes through a few more photos before she freezes on the last photo they took together.

She gazes with a heavy heart at the picture of the two of them. A silly picture of them on the beach. They were wrapped in each other's arms and Bella was making a funny face; cross-eyes and tongue sticking out and Jacob was laughing as he looked at Bella like she was the single most amazing thing on the planet.

She turns off her phone and closes her eyes tightly. When she opens them, her eyes meet Jasper's.

He gazes at her with pity and Bella wonders what he felt from her. She turns away from him and doesn't notice Edward watching her from the balcony.

A few days later, Edward accidently crushes her phone. He buys her a new one, with the same number, and Bella hates how empty the photo gallery is.

She knows Jacob has copies of those pictures on his phone and wonders how mad he would be if she drops by to get them.

Edward pops up out of know where.

"You have a dress fitting tonight, Bella and we have a meeting with the florist in an hour," Edward announces.

Bella nods.

"Of course," she says, defeated.

"I love you." he says, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

Bella looks up at him, when he pulls a way and tries to smile.

"I love you too."

For some reason, the words taste bitter on her tongue but she writes it off as stress.

She hopes Jacob misses her too and wishes that he would call.


	14. Chapter 14

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter Fourteen: You couldn't have loved me better...But I want you to move on...So I'm already gone**

 _"There will always be a part of you that misses her. You'll see something that reminds you of her and want to tell her about it, only to realize she's not there anymore. Then you'll feel her loss all over again._

 _"You're not helping me, Ravyn."_

 _I" know, buddy. But you will eventually make peace with yourself, and that's the most important thing. Eventually, you'll even be able to smile again when you think about her. "_  
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, _Dark Side of the Moon _

* * *

He goes to a bonfire with Leah and she lets him talk about Bella without punching, kicking, dunking his head in the ocean or pushing him into the fire. In return, he listens to her talk about Sam. He feels a little guilty for how mean he's been to her. She was with Sam for years and he never had a chance with Bella in the first place.

"You know, they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else," Leah remarks and Jacob's eyebrows shoot up.

"Are you propositioning me, Leah?" he asks and she slaps over the head.

"Not me, you idiot!" she growls and gestures over to a girl on the other side of the fire, whose been making eyes at him all night.

She's attractive and all but…

"Not my type," he says and Leah rolls her eyes, handing him a can of cola.

Sam walks by holding hands with Emily and Leah's eyes darken.

"I guess I'll take my own advice then," she says and makes her way over to the cooler.

She's not even half way there when a guy comes over and starts talking to her.

Jacob smirks and, the next time Sam walks past, he sticks his foot out and trips him.

"Oops," he says, with false innocence. "Didn't see you there,"

He spends the rest of the night pranking Sam and Leah smiles at him when she leaves with some guy.

"You going to get under him?" he asks and Leah shakes her head.

"Nope, not that kind of girl," she admits and then smirks. "He's taking me home and we're going to get dinner tomorrow,"

Jacob is happy for her. He wonders if he should try dating.

He thinks of Bella smiling at him, and remembers what it felt like to have him next to him in bed.

He hits Sam in the head with his can and goes home.

….

She almost talked herself into visiting Jacob when her truck mysteriously wheezes its last wheeze, a few days after Edward asked if he was allowed to replace her truck after it passed on.

Bella finds herself stalled on the side of the road, on her way back from the supermarket. She looks through her contacts, but can't find anyone to call.

Charlie's at work. Edward left on a hunting trip with Emmet and Jasper. Alice is in Paris, picking up something for the wedding and she took Esme with her. Jessica is sick with the flu. Angela's visiting her college with Ben and Mike would spend the whole ride mooning over her.

Her finger hovers over Jacob's name briefly, before she throws her phone in her purse and gets out. She decides to walk home but after gives up after walking ten blocks in heels.

She flops on the grass, outside of candle store and takes off the blue high heels she was wearing. Her feet are swollen and her head is aching from the lack of sleep and she's exhausted. She's stressed out and edgy, and angry and…she misses her friend.

A warm tear rolls down her cheek. For the first time, she admits to herself that she made a mistake by agreeing to marry Edward. Her eyes become flooded with tears, and she cries her eyes out on in front of a discount candle store.

And that's how Rosalie finds her, half an hour later.

….

Jacob goes out on a dates with girls that Quil and Embry set him up with. He's polite. He holds the door open for them, smiles, listens to them, makes small talk, and pays for the meal…but it just doesn't feel right.

He tells himself that he has to at least _try_ to move on. So he starts finding his own dates and spends less time at home, so he wouldn't give in to the temptation to mope.

But after a while, he starts to notice things about the girls he finds himself attracted to…. Bella like things.

One girl's hair is the same color as Bella's.

Another's eyes were sort of shaped the same as Bella's.

One's cheekbones cut across her face the same way as Bella's.

And this one, Kayla, has the same little crease between her eye, that Bella gets when she worried.

Jacob decides to give up on dating and apologizes as he walks her home.

"It's okay," she says, giving him a smile, and Jacob notices that she has Bella's lips.

He almost leans in to kiss her but he knows it wouldn't be right.

"Good night, Kayla," Jacob says and shakes her hand instead.

It's going to take some time…but he knows that he can do this.

He can't keep waiting for Bella. It's been three months, if she wanted to be with him then she wouldn't be marrying Edward.

….

"I don't think I want to marry Edward." Bella admits and Rosalie gives her a sympathetic look.

"Bella, I don't think you ever did."

Bella gives her confused look and Rosalie sighs.

"Bella, when you first moved here you were lonely. You had just moved to a new place and the mystery of Edward kept you distracted from your sadness. Then you became obsessed with him and you confused it for love. You both did. You got pulled in by Edward's looks and the excitement of loving someone dangerous,"

"I love Edward," Bella protested.

"You thought you loved him but whenever you felt sad or angry, or hurt, you never ran to him. When you smiled, you weren't smiling at Edward. When you slept, it wasn't Edward's name you were calling anymore. Edward could never be there for you emotionally because you won't let him. You don't trust Edward with your heart,"

"I trust Edward with my life," Bella said.

"Bella, there's a difference between trusting someone with your life and trusting someone with your heart because Bella, you've proven time and time again that your life means very little to you,"

"That's not true,"

"Isn't it? You willingly went alone with a vampire in the woods, ran off to go face a vampire by yourself, recklessly endangered yourself, jumped off a cliff, ran off to Italy to face a bunch off evil vampires hoping to die if you didn't succeed, you begged them to kill you instead of Edward, and, most importantly, you were willing to give up your humanity to be with a guy you had barely known a month,"

Bella is stunned into silence.

She never thought about it like that.

"Do you love Jacob?" Rosalie asks, after a moment.

"Yes," Bella mutters.

"Do you trust Jacob?"

"Yes,"

"Does he make you happy?"

"More than anyone,"

"Those are the most important things to consider in a relationship. So, what are you going to do?"

Bella stares at her engagement ring, wondering if Rosalie was right.

"I don't know," she says and Rosalie leaves her alone.

When Edward comes back with a new expensive car for her, a car she doesn't even know how to drive, Bella knows what she's going to do.

...

After another failed date, Jacob goes to the beach and sits in the place where he once told Bella the legend of the cold ones.

He sits on a log and stares into the ocean, watching the waves crash onto the beach. He wonders how life would be if he had kept his mouth shut.

"Hey, you okay? Hello? You there, Mr. Tall, dark, and brooding," It took a second to realize that someone's talking to him.

He looks up from the water and finds a beautiful girl staring at him, light red-gold hair, fair skin, a few gold-colored freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and nose, with eyes the color of cinnamon and her expression kind of anxious.

He stares at her, looking for something that will remind him of Bella. But he can't find anything.

"Are you lost?" She asks, smiling so that a dimple popped out of her chin.

Jacob freezes, his chest clenching slightly at the question as his eyes move from her to the ocean.

"Feels like it sometimes," He answers. "But no. I know exactly where I am,"

"I was just kidding but you look really upset about something. Oh, hey, I'm Lizzie," she holds out her hand, Jacob shakes it, after a moment of hesitation.

"Jacob," he says.

"Anyway…" she trails off, awkwardly, pulling her hand back, "I was wondering if I could help. Are you waiting for someone?" she asks.

"She's not here." Jacob states, "And she's probably not coming either,"

"Oh. Sorry,"

"Me too," I mutter.

"She doesn't deserve you, you know" Lizzie tells him after a moment of silence.

"You don't even know her,"

"I know that if she's not here with you then she's an idiot,"

He looks at the girl again, Lizzie. She was pretty. Nice enough to brooding strangers. Nice girl, pretty, sort of funny.

"Anyway, you shouldn't stand here moping," she states.

"What should I be doing then?" Jacob asks.

"I don't know," she shrugs. "But it's a beautiful night. It's a shame to waste it,"

"I guess I could go home and change the oil in my car," Jacob says, expecting her to roll her eyes and tell him that he shouldn't spend the night working on a car.

Instead, she raises an eyebrow.

"What kind of car do you have?"

"A 1986 Volkswagen rabbit," Jacob replies and she tilts her head.

"Oh a classic," she says, impressed, "Tell me about it."

Jacob never misses an opportunity to talk about his baby and Lizzie talk adds her own knowledge to the conversation.

Jacob sits back down on the log and Lizzie sits next to him as they talk.

...

"I'm sorry Edward."

"I just- I don't get it. We love each other."

"Not in the way we're supposed to."

"Bella, that's not true. We're meant to be together. You were born to love me and I became a vampire so that I could exist long enough to love you."

Bella sighs, knowing it's hard to explain why she's calling off the wedding. She no longer wanted to be Mrs. Cullen. She no longer wanted to be a vampire either.

"You need time to think. I can give you time, Love. We can push back the wedding. We can have a long engagement and go to college first, if you want. We can-"

"No Edward. I don't need time. I know what I want and I'm sorry but…I don't love you. Not in the way you want me to." Bella interrupts.

"But you are my life, Bella. We can't live without each other. Do you remember what happened last time we were apart? We were miserable."

Bella nods, tears filling in her eyes.

"I remember, but that was then. I didn't know that I could live without you, Edward and I wasn't willing to try. I'm not your life, Edward. You lived 117 years without me and you'll probably live 1000 more after I'm gone." Her voice is sharp and clear.

She's surprised by how strong she sounds and, from the look on his face, Edward is too.

"I don't want to live a thousand years without you, Bella."

"Edward, we've only been dating a year and a half. Don't you think maybe we're rushing things?"

"You can't rush love,"

"But we did. We barely knew each other a month before you were claiming that I was your life and I was willing to spend the rest of eternity with you. I'm young, Edward. You've lived a hundred years longer than I have and have more life experience than me. We have conflicting life views. You're old-fashioned. You believe in courting and saving yourself for marriage and I'm more modern. I don't believe in saving yourself for marriage. Honestly, I don't even believe in marriage!" Bella exclaims, in that same strong tone.

"So, this is because I won't have sex with you?"

"No, Edward. This isn't about sex! You don't really know anything about me. You fell for what you thought I was. You fell for what I made you believe I was. You can't read my mind, Edward. You don't know what I think about and that makes me a mystery."

"Is this because of Jacob?" Edward finally asks and Bella hesitates.

"It's not about Jacob. It's about trust. It's about my insecurities and how I never feel good enough for you. I never feel good about myself when I'm with you. It's about how you are always trying to tell me what to do and control me because you think you know what's best for me…when you don't. it's about how you watch me while I'm sleeping and make fun of the things I say while I'm dreaming. It's about how you left me and let me believe you didn't want me for Four Months! It's about how you lied to me about Victoria. It's about how I always end up having to choose between you and Charlie. It's about you taking the engine out of my truck so I couldn't see Jacob!" she was getting upset now.

She'd never realized how much anger she had buried under her love for him.

"It's about you asking Alice to kidnap me and you refusing to even consider sleeping with me! It's about the way you kiss me, like I'm going to break or something! It's about the way I have to lie for you or go along with the lies you tell people. It's about how you took all my things from my room and put them under my floorboards. It's about you tricking me into talking about our engagement when you knew Jacob was listening! It's about you following me to Angela's house and scaring me! It's about…it's about us and the problems we have with each other that we never deal with because we don't want to hurt the other person. It's about the way, I can't cry in front of you without feeling guilty. We just aren't right for each other,"

"So, this is it? You're leaving me," Edward asks.

"Yes," Bella says.

"No," Edward states, refusing to except it.

Bella and Edward argue with each other for the rest of the afternoon. They throw their worst at each other, every insult, every buried resentment, everything they ever hid from the other. They apologize, Bella cries, Edward punches holes in the walls and throws things. They kiss and hug. They yell and threaten. Edward throws up the Volturi and Bella almost gives in…but she's not going to let a group of evil vampires control her life.

By the time nightfall came, they both agree it's over. Edward takes back his ring and Bella gives him back the keys to the new car he brought her. Edward offers to let her keep it and Bella refuses.

"A clean break, right?" Bella says softly and Edward looks miserable.

"You finally realized you love him more, huh?" Edward asks and Bella smiles.

"It snuck up on me all those months ago and I just refused to admit it." She takes a deep breath. "I love him. I wish I didn't. This would all be so much easier if I didn't. But, I do. I love Jacob more."

Edward smiles sadly.

"Then I guess this really is goodbye,"

It hurts to see him hurting and a part of Bella wants to take it back but she bites her lip to keep from saying anything.

This is it. There is nothing more to say.

"Goodbye, Edward." she calls over her shoulder and Edward doesn't respond.

….

Lizzie, as it turns out, knows a lot about cars.

"My dad ran an auto shop back in Colorado and I used to help out after school," Lizzie explains. "Plus, cars are awesome!"

She's funny, laid back, intelligent, she knows about cars, and she's pretty. Not as beautiful as Bella but…

How often do you meet a nice girl who knows about cars?

Jacob can't help but smile and she grins her one-dimple smile, clearly pleased to have made me smile.

"Do you want to go for a ride?" he asks, before he has time to second guess himself.

"I'd love too,"

And for the first time in a long time, he doesn't think about Bella.


	15. Chapter 15

**SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter Fifteen:** **I must've called a thousand times, to tell you I'm sorry, for everything that I've done but, when I call, you never seem to be home**

 _When you love someone, it's never over,' Dr. Carruthers replied gently. 'You move on, because you have to, but you bring him in your heart."_  
 _― Elizabeth Chandler, Kissed by an Angel _

* * *

Bella doesn't run to Jacob.

Instead, she mourns the end of her relationship for a few weeks. She turns off her phone and begs Charlie not to tell anyone. She cries, watches sad soap operas, throws her copy of Romeo & Juliet out the window, and sneaks three of Charlie's beers.

If he notices, he never says.

Once the pain settles, she takes a long shower and turns her phone back on.

She has sixty missed calls, thirty voicemails, and fifty unread texts. The majority are from Alice, there's a few from Edward, but none from Jacob.

She deletes them all without listening or reading them and then calls Angela, Jessica, and Rosalie. She decides to have a girl's night. She wants to invite Alice but she's not sure where they stand now that the wedding is off. Angela bring a big bucket of chocolate ice-cream, Jessica brings tissues and sad movies.

Jessica asks what happened and Angela shoots her a warning look before giving Bella a sympathetic look.

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," Angela says and Bella sighs.

"It's a really long story," she mutters and Jessica looks eager to hear. "Okay, well it all started after I came here…"

Bella tells her story the best she can, leaving out the Vampires and Werewolves. It's not as interesting or as exciting but Angela and Jessica listen with rapt attention. She leaves in the lies that she and Edward made up for somethings. They ask her questions and press for more details on some things. She apologizes for the way she acted after Edward left and they ask her what it was like to jump off a cliff. She tells them as much of the truth as she can, and can feel Rosalie's stare boring into the side of her face. When she reaches the part where she called off her engagement, the tears start to fall, and then she's sobbing. They all group together and hug her as she cries.

"I know I did the right thing but I just feel bad. I hurt so many people to be with Edward. Was it wrong of me to just up and change my mind?" Bella asks, once she's calmed down enough to talk.

"No, you weren't wrong. if it wasn't right then it wasn't right," Jessica answers. "And you don't have to worry about me spreading it around. I won't tell anyone until you're ready for people to know,"

"Thank you, Jess." Bella pauses and clears her throat, "I'm sorry about what happened at the movies. I shouldn't have used you like that. I-"

Jessica waves her off.

"It's okay. We all lose our minds sometimes," She says.

"So, what about Jacob?" Angela asks, and Bella looks at her with puffy red eyes.

"What about him?"

"Are you going to be with him? You know, now that you're not with Edward anymore," she asks, nervously.

Bella doesn't answer and they let it drop.

...…

Dating Lizzie is different. It feels kind of like he's an ordinary teenager with her. Jacob has fun with Lizzie. They have fun together, she's funny and she gets him. She helps him change the oil in his car and doesn't so much as blink when he points out the oil stain on her shirt.

She teaches him how to play guitar and Jacob can't help but watch her hands and fingers as they skillfully play the strings. She glances up at him from times to time, and winks, giving him that one-dimple smile that he's growing to love.

Lizzie introduces him to her mother, who she lives with no that her parents are divorced and her dad is back in Colorado, and he stays over for dinner.

Afterwards, they settle on her couch to watch the Avengers. By the time it gets to the part where Thor is telling Loki that it's not too late to stop, Lizzie and Jacob have both fallen silent. Lizzie rests her head on his shoulder, tucks her arm through his. Jacob remembers being in a similar position with Bella and can't help but shift uncomfortably. He tries to fight down the guilt.

He's not doing anything wrong. He has every right to move on and Lizzie is nice.

Lizzie knows about cars, plays guitars, likes action movies and actually _wants_ to be with him.

She's like the opposite of Bella.

At the end of the night, Lizzie kisses him for the first time. It's nice and it's sweet…but it doesn't make his heart race like when he kissed Bella.

"Wow, never seen a boy look so down after a kiss before," Lizzie remarks and Jacob feels even more guilty.

"I'm sorry," he tells Lizzie, and tries to explain himself.

Lizzie laughs it off and kisses his cheek.

"We've all been there, Jake," she says, and before she could say anything else, her mom calls her name from inside. "I'll see you tomorrow,"

Jacob gets in his car, after she's gone, and pulls out his cellphone. His finds Bella's number and his finger hovers over the call button. He looks back towards Lizzie's house and relies that he can see her and her mom in the dining room, through the window. Her light red-golden head is thrown back and she's laughing at something her mom says.

He turns off his phone with a groan and starts his car.

Bella's probably having dinner with the Cullens at this time anyway.

…..

It was easier to let go of Edward the second time than it was the first. Maybe it's because that she was the one who broke up with him or maybe it's because back then, it was the first time her heart had ever been broken.

Bella burrows some money from Charlie and buys herself a new wardrobe at the thrift store. Charlie asks if she wants to go somewhere more expensive and she thinks about it.

She's worn the expensive jewelry and buried her heart beneath expensive dresses and sparkles.

And she hated every second of it.

"This is fine," she says, with a smile and the first thing she picks out is the rattiest pair of jeans she can find.

She smiles at herself in the mirror, when she gets home. Wearing a pair of ratty jeans and an old sweat-shirt, she feels more like herself.

She glances at her cellphone on her dresser and wishes it would ring.

She wants to respect Jacob's wishes and wait for him to call but….

She knows that Jacob would want to know that she called off her engagement.

She picks up her phone to call him and gets his voicemail.

"Hello, it's me," Bella hesitates, "I don't know if you'll get this or not but I just thought you should know…Edward and I are done. I called off the engagement and I…I'm sorry…for everything that happened. Call me, please,"

…

They're outside the museum, because Lizzie impulsively decided she wanted to see the dinosaurs and Jacob thinks dinosaurs are awesome _(Who doesn't love dinosaurs?),_ sharing a street pretzel, when Jacob leans over and kisses Lizzie.

Lizzie kisses him back and smiles when they break it, stealing the rest of the pretzel while Jacob's distracted.

"What was that for?" she asks, pinching off her pretzel and taking a bite.

Jacob shrugs and tries to steal a piece of the pretzel but Lizzie sidesteps him.

"I just felt like kissing you," he says, leaning over Lizzie's shoulder, looping his arms around her waist, "Why? Was it bad?"

Lizzie shakes her head.

"No, it was good," she says and holds up the pretzel so Jacob could take a bite. "This is good,"

Jacob nods and looks up at the sky. It's a rare sunny day in Forks. Jacob has been giving Lizzie an official tour of Forks, they see the sights, eat at the restaurants, etc. There's not a lot in Forks but Lizzie appears to like it here.

When he glances at her, Lizzie's watching him with that amused look again. She arches an eyebrow and he grins.

"We should go somewhere," he decides, "Just you and me,"

"It's already just you and me," Lizzie points out and Jacob shakes his head.

"No, I mean like a picnic or something,"

Lizzie looks a little confused but decides to go with the flow. After all, who doesn't want to go a picnic with their boyfriend?

"I'll call my mom and ask her if she could throw us some food in a basket," Lizzie says and Jacob laughs.

"Sounds like a plan, Liz," Jacob says and plants a kiss on her cheek.

After they get the food and a blanket, they go to find a nice spot, and toast with cans of cola, dance when a good song plays on the radio, that Lizzie had in her truck.

"This was a great idea," Lizzie laughs, curling a finger over Jacob's collar to pull him into a kiss.

Jacob smiles against her lips and places his hands on her hips.

He's really grown to like Lizzie and thinks he's really started to put what happened with Bella behind him. He's got in the habit of leaving his phone off because sometimes the temptation to call really get to him.

A part of him wants to tell Bella about Lizzie, because she's one of his best friends and he really thinks that they would like each other,

The other part, just wants to keep this little slice of happiness to himself and not have to share it with anyone.

Lizzie pulls away and places her hands on his cheeks, "Where did you go?"

Jacob opens his eyes. "I'm right here,"

Lizzie gives him a sweet smile. "Your body is here, but your mind wanders sometimes,"

Jacob swallows and places his hands on top of Lizzie's and nuzzles her hand, "I'm sorry,"

Lizzie presses a kiss to the tip of his nose. "It's fine, but you've got stop looking to the past, Jake. You won't find me there,"

Jacob nods and Lizzie lets go of him.

"Let's finish our picnic and then we can go back to my house. Vampire Diaries comes on tonight and I don't want to miss it,"

Jacob rolls his eyes. "Stupid Vampires,"

"I heard that," Lizzie says and elbows him in the ribs, hard enough to hurt, you know, if he was human.

"Ow," he says belatedly and grins.

Lizzie is awesome

…

The task falls to Bella to uninvited people to the wedding and cancel things. Alice sounds very smug when she tells her this and Bella takes it as a challenge.

Many guests aren't surprised to hear that the wedding was a bust. Bella wishes that the caterer could be was as understanding. She spends the whole day canceling things, explaining to guests that Edward didn't leave her, she called off the wedding. Charlie watches her with a worried expression.

She knows that he's worried she's going to fall back into her zombie days.

"So, what are your plans, Bells?" Charlie asks, after she gets off the phone with the Dove man.

Who the hell orders 500 doves anyway?

"What do you mean?" she asks, looking at the next person on the list.

Really? An orchestra?

"Now that you and Edward are…" Charlie makes a face, "Are you going to go to college or are you staying in town?"

Bella shrugs.

"I might go hang out with my mom for a while. The babies due in a couple weeks and I want to be there for her. But other than that. I don't know,"

Charlie's eyes light up.

"What about Jacob?" he asks and Bella's shoulders slump.

"He hasn't called me back yet," Bella mumbles. "I know he said he would call but I thought he would want to know that me and Edward were over,"

Charlie sighs. "Well, I'm sure you'll work it out."

Bella nods, but she's not so sure.

Later, in her room, she calls Jacob again.

"Hey, it's Bella, again," she says, "I don't know if you're even getting these messages or maybe you just don't want to talk to me but…"

She touches her dreamcatcher and thinks about her birthday.

"I miss the sound of your voice, and I miss your laugh and your jokes." Bella's eyes close and she fights to keep her voice from trembling. "I miss all of you. Please, Jake, call me back,"

She hangs up and sighs.

Her truck is still broken but if Jacob doesn't call her soon, she's going to have Charlie drive her to his house.

She hopes she's not too late.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Okay this was mostly just a filler chapter. Let me know what you think, please!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Save My Heart**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter16:** **This time, this place misused, mistakes...Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait?**

 _The truth which has been spoken too late is more damaging than a lie."_  
 _― Amit Kalantri_

* * *

Her whole body was shaking as she stands on his porch. She had Charlie drop her off and had waved him off when he asked if he should wait. Now she was regretting it.

What if he didn't want to see her?

She should just go. He said he would call and he asked for space. She should respect that but…he wasn't answering her calls and she needed to tell him that her and Edward were finished and she waited as long as she could but her mom was due to have her baby any day now and Bella couldn't leave without talking to Jacob.

"You can do this," She mumbles, raising a trembling hand and pounding on the door.

She still has her key but she feels like it would be wrong just to come in uninvited after all this time.

The wait felt like an eternity as she stood there holding onto her suitcase. She heard rustling from behind the door and female laughter mixed in with Jacob's. She wonders if his sisters are in town.

Jacob opens the door and Bella's heart skips a beat.

"Bella," He looked surprised, but the evidence of a smile showed through his shock, "What are you doing here?"

She stares at him self-consciously, before her eyes dart away, trying to see in the house behind him but Jacob steps out on the porch and closes the door behind him.

She opens her mouth to say something and bites her lip nervously.

"Bella?" Jacob says again.

"I called off my wedding," Bella blurts "And things with Edward are over…for good this time,"

"Oh," Jacob's stunned.

"Jacob I-." she starts and places her hand on his arm.

Jacob's eyes flick to her hand noticing the lack of a ring. A hopeful smile starts to spread across his face.

"I'm leaving Forks," she blurts and his smile fades.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"Back to Phoenix. My mom's going to have her baby soon and I want be there when she does and then I'm going to see if I can go to college there," She smiles nervously and when Jacob doesn't return the gesture she explains in a quiet voice, "I need a new start. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself after I came here and I want to remember who I was before Edward."

She looks at him hopefully and Jacob frowns.

"Why are you telling me this?" Jacob asks.

"I thought you should know," Bella says and Jacob glares at her.

"You're always doing this, Bella," he snaps, "You run. You run and you hide from the truth. About yourself, about the Cullens, about Edward and about how you feel about me. You can't keep running, Bella."

"I'm not running anymore. I'm going home. I made a mistake with Edward. I let myself dissolve into him and his world and I forgot how to be me. That's why I have to go. But Jacob I-"

"Look, Bella I think you should just-"

"Come with me." she blurts and Jacob backs away from her. "I have two tickets and I want you to come with me. The plane leaves tonight. We can start fresh in Phoenix together."

"You can't do this Bella. You can't walk in here, after we haven't talked in months, tell me you broke up with Edward and that you're leaving and then ask me to come with you! What about my Dad, the pack, my friends, my education, my life? I can't just drop everything at the drop of a hat because you suddenly decide you want me. I'm not that boy anymore, Bella."

"I know. I know it's selfish and wrong to just ask you to you to ask this from you but…"

"But what, Bella? You need me? Is that it? Do you need me like you did when Edward left you?"

"It's not like that." Bella protests, "Jacob, I love you,"

"I would have given anything to hear you say that a few months ago, Bella. Why now? Why not then?"

"I wasn't ready then, Jacob," she says. "I thought that I loved Edward more but Rosalie help me see that I was wrong, Jacob," she swallowed and took a deep breath, "I was wrong. I love you more, Jacob. You're the one who I can be myself around and you're the one I want to sleep next to at night. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that,"

"I'm sorry too," Jacob says and the door opens behind him.

"Jacob, what's taking so long?" a female voice asks and Bella's eyes widen.

The girl behind him is gorgeous, in a kissed by the Irish sun kind of way.

"Just give me a second, Liz," Jacob says, never taking his eyes off hers, "I'll be there in a minute,"

The girl nods and closes the door.

"Oh, I really am too late," Bella says, her eyes filling with tears.

Jacob looks away from her.

"Goodbye, Jacob," Bella says and picks up her bag from the ground.

"Goodbye, Bella," Jacob said, closing the door, softly, leaving her standing on his porch.

….

Jacob goes back inside with Lizzie and his father.

He finds them playing cards in the kitchen.

"Who was that?" Lizzie asks when he sits down and Jacob winces.

His father looks at him with knowing dark eyes.

"That was Bella," he says, picking up his cards, and Lizzie gives him a puzzled look.

"Who's Bella?" she questions and Jacob hesitates.

"She is…" he trails off, "Was one of my best friends," he corrects himself, "She just came to tell me that she was moving back to Phoenix,"

Lizzie loos like she wants to ask more questions but decides to drop it…for now.

Jacob knows that he'll be in for a fierce interrogation later and wonders if by telling the truth he'll be out of a girlfriend or if by lying he'll be making it worse.

He glances at his father who just shrugs, as if saying, it's your problem, son. Leave me out of it.

Damn, why did Bella always have to make everything so complicated?

He frowned, and glanced back, over his shoulder, at the door.

 _"I thought that I loved Edward more but Rosalie help me see that I was wrong, Jacob,"_

He never needed anyone else to tell him who he was in love with.

He rubbed the front of his chest, ignoring the sharp sting, then went back to having a nice evening with his faithful girlfriend and his loving father. He deserved to have some peace and happiness in his life and things had never been as good for him as they were right now. But..

Jacob threw down his cards.

"I need to take care of something," he said, and Lizzie looked concerned.

"What's wrong?" she asked, and Jacob couldn't even mange to force a smile.

"I'll be right back, he said, before running out the door.

* * *

 **Author's note: Tsk, Tsk, Bella. Always putting your foot in your mouth. But now that everybody's met I can get on to the real fun...Making Bella miserable (Cackles like an evil witch as she types on her laptop)**

 **Just kidding...or am I?**

 **:p**

 **Review Please**


	17. Chapter 17

**SAVE MY HEART**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **― Shannon L. Alder **

**Chapter seventeen:** **What you're not saying is coming in loud and clear...We're at a crossroads here  
**

 _"Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been."_  
 _― Kurt Vonnegut_

* * *

Bella was in Jacob's garage.

Charlie had already left to go to work and Rosalie wasn't allowed to cross the treaty line. Bella knew she should probably start walking or try calling one of her other friends but she couldn't gather up the energy.

Jacob had moved on.

She couldn't believe it. She knew that she had said that she would be jealous of the girl who became his girlfriend but deep inside she never actually believed he would find somebody else.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob called, and Bella looked up from the crate she was sitting on.

"I'm just waiting for a ride," Bella said, "My trucks broke,"

"That's not what I meant," Jacob said, rubbing his hand down his face, "I mean, why now? Why did you have to come and tell me you love me now?"

"I told you-" Bella started and Jacob shook his head.

"It's been months Bella. I spent months waiting. I tried dating and every single girl made me think of you. I drank, I cried, I moped. I went through a lot to get to the point where I'm happy. So, why are you here?" Jacob asked, and Bella stood up.

"I know I was wrong. But I…I moped around too. Things weren't the same without you in my life. It was worse than the first time, I almost drove up to see you, and I wanted to call you so much but I _couldn't_." Bella's eyes watered, and her voice broke, "I tried to bury myself in wedding plans but it didn't take my mind off you like I hoped. I had nightmares about killing you as a newborn. I stopped sleeping and everyday felt so empty and hollow without you. it wasn't until my truck broke down that I realized that I couldn't marry Edward and Rosalie said-"

Jacob laughed, it was a dark, hollow laugh that cut through Bella like a knife.

"Rosalie said," he repeated, "Bella, I never needed _somebody else_ to tell me who I belonged with,"

"I know that, but listen I-"

"You what, Bella? You had a sudden moment of clarity and your eyes just magically opened to the truth," Jacob exhaled, pushing his fingers through his hair, "That you loved me more than Edward and that there was nobody else you would rather be with than me?"

"Yes!" Bella exclaims, angrily.

"Bullshit!" Jacob snaps, throwing his wrench across the garage.

"Why is that bullshit? Jake, I want to be with you," Bella paused and took a deep breath, "I understand if you don't love me anymore but I-" Bella is interrupted by Jacob's laughter.

"Do I still love you? Of course I still fucking love you, Bella. I love you every minute of every day! I'm _always_ going to love you!" he shouted, "but you can't look me in the eye and tell me that if I had never stopped talking to you, and Rosalie hadn't intervened, that you would be here right now!"

"But I _am_ here, Jake," Bella pushes, grabbing his hand, "I'm here and I love you. I'm _**in love**_ with you, so why?"

"Because I've moved on, Bella." Jacob says, "I waited for you, Bella. I waited for months for you to realize that you loved me more than Edward-"

"Not long enough," Bella muttered, interrupting him, and Jacob's head snapped up.

"Don't do that, Bella. don't you _dare_ say I didn't wait for you. Don't you ever accuse me of not waiting for you!" Jacob growled, agonized, and Bella realized that Jacob was hurt, really, really hurt by that accusation.

Bella understood. He wasn't mad at her for coming here. He was mad at himself for not believing that she would come back.

"You didn't wait though," Bella says, "You pushed me to this. You _made_ me love you, I broke my engagement for you, and then you moved on. What happened to fighting for me?"

"I fought for you, Bella and you know what I realized? You don't know what you want," Jacob said raggedly.

"You are so full of shit!" Bella growled, beating his chest with her fist.

"If you actually loved me, then you never would've agreed to marry Edward in the first place. You never would have put me through all of this. You wouldn't be here right now ruining the life I've just started to build-"

"But I _do_ love you," Bella said, grabbing for Jacob and holding on. "Jacob, I _do_ , I _swear,_ how can you even-"

"You _don't_ , this is just pre-wedding jitters. You'll go to Phoenix to live with your mom and after the baby's born you'll call Edward, apologize and the two of you will elope. You won't even think of me," Jacob said without hope, and it was devastating to hear him sound so sure of it.

"I won't do that," Bella insisted, "and I haven't ruined anything. You still have everything you had before I came here,"

Jacob shook his head.

"I'm going to start wondering now…about what could've been. If I let you go. That's all I'm going to think about. I'm going to be miserable and unsure in my decision. But if I do go with you, I'll always know that you could leave me to be with Edward and he'd take you back without a word."

"Jacob, I'm not going to leave you. I love you," Bella said, again, because those three words should change something, "and you love me,"

"No, you don't," Jacob said, shaking his head, "Not as much as you love Edward,"

"Yes, I do," Bella said, frustrated.

"No, you don't," He growled, harshly, "I've finally learned to accept it."

"I do love you, Jake," Bella stomped her foot, "You can't tell me that I don't!"

"I love you more than you love me,"

He stared at her, almost shaking with emotion, and Bella wanted to tell him that he was wrong. That she loved him just as much as he loved her but…

"Jacob, I-"

"And it isn't fair!" He faced her, betrayed, swiping an angry tear from his cheek.

"Jacob, I love you," Bella said, trying one last time. "More than Edward. More than anyone. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it but—"

"Bella, I just can't," he admits, "I'm sorry,"

Bella nodded, not saying anything for a minute, replaying their conversation in her head.

"I'll wait for you," she blurts, and Jacob looked at her, "I'll wait until you're sure. I'm…I have to go to Phoenix Jacob. I have to be with my mom. But I'm coming back." She promised.

"Bella—"

"I'm coming back," she repeated, firmly, "I'm not going to run anymore. I'm going to prove that I love you."

"You can't just—"

"Yes, I can." Bella interrupts, "This time, I'm going to fight for you, Jake,"

"But Lizzie—"

"I'm sure she's great," Bella says, "but you said you love me."

Jacob stared at her, not saying anything, and Bella pressed forward, more confident than before.

"You said you love me every minute of every day and that you're _always_ going to love me," Bella reminded him, "Can you really live the rest of your live not knowing what we could've been?"

Jacob didn't have an answer, but at that moment, Bella didn't need one.

"Can you give me a ride home?" Bella asked, after a minute, and Jacob nodded.

The drive home was done in silence, Bella kissed Jacob on the cheek before getting out.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear, and closed the door before he could say anything.

Jacob watched her go with a sinking feeling in his chest.

* * *

 _"Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on._  
 _I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you."_  
 _― Jonathan Safran Foer_


	18. Chapter 18

**SAVE MY HEART**

 **Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."**  
 **―** **Shannon L. Alder**

* * *

 **Chapter eighteen: I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you**

 _"It's not about making the right choice._  
 _It's about making a choice and making it right._ "  
 **― J.R. Rim, Better to be able to love than to be loveable**

* * *

"What are we doing out here?" Lizzie asks, confused, as Jacob drives them back to the place where they had their first picnic.

"There's something I need to tell you," Jacob takes a deep breath, "and I want to do this right,"

"Okay," Lizzie replies, simply, and Jacob feels the knot in his chest settle.

Lizzie isn't complicated. Lizzie is warm and understanding. Lizzie is…Lizzie is him. Lizzie is him in the love triangle and he wishes that Bella had taken the time to explain everything to him the day she brought those stupid bikes.

If she had taken the time to explain about Edward and what was going on…

If she had given him a choice…

Jacob lays out a large blanket for them, laying on his back, waiting for Lizzie to join him.

"What's up?" Lizzie asks, and Jacob looks up at the stars.

"I want to tell you—" Jacob broke off, and got a determined glint in his eyes, "I have to tell you about what happened between Bella and me,"

"You used to date, huh?" Lizzie states, and Jacob chuckles.

"It's a little more complicated than that," Jacob pauses, "There are some things about me that you don't know and I think I've been unfair to you,"

"You can tell me anything," Lizzie says, and there are a few seconds of silence, "You didn't cheat on me, did you?"

"No," Jacob says, and is relieved that he's being honest.

He hasn't cheated on Lizzie.

Jacob tells her about Bella coming to Forks, tells her the story of wolves, about the cold ones, about Edward and Bella, about him and Bella, about Edward coming back, and newborns, and Bella agreeing to marry Edward and everything that happened afterward. Jacob knew that he wasn't supposed to be sharing all this information, but the Cullens were in Forks anymore, and they had already been planning to break the treaty anyway. Hell, as soon as Bella got over her wedding jitters the treaty was gone.

Lizzie stays quiet, while he lays it all out there, and after he finishes, they lie side by side for a long time without speaking.

Eventually, Lizzie sighs deeply and says, "...Cool,"

"Cool?" Jacob questioned, sitting up to look at her, "That's all you have to say,"

"You're a werewolf, you fight vampires, and your…sort of girlfriend just broke off her engagement to her vampire fiancé so she could be with you," Lizzie summarizes, "Is that everything?"

"Yes," Jacob says, and Lizzie sits up too.

"So, what are you going to do?" she asks, and Jacob grabs her hand in his.

"I…I want to be with you," he says, firmly, "Lizzie, I really, really like you and I think that I can see myself falling in love with you someday,"

"But right now, you still have feelings for Bella," Lizzie reminds him, and Jacob cringes.

"I do…but I don't want to," he admits, "Bella has hurt me so many times and I don't think my heart can take anymore,"

"Jacob, I like you too…but…" Lizzie broke off, and Jacob braced himself.

"If you don't want to be with me anymore, I understand," Jacob says, "I'm not going to force you into anything. My life is extremely complicated and I don't want to hurt you,"

"I'm willing to give this a try," Lizzie tells him, and Jacob let out a sigh of relief, "But If cheat on me with Bella—"

"I'm not going to cheat on you," Jacob promises, "I'm not going to let Bella ruin this for me. I…I want to be happy. I want to be happy with you,"

"Why?" Lizzie questions, "Why me? The girl you've been pining for has come back into your life and she's finally ready to choose you,"

"Bella may care about me, she may even love me, but she doesn't respect me," Jacob's eyes darken with anger, "She does actually see me as a person. She sees me as a placeholder or a distraction. She's told me time and time again that she loves Edward more than me. And I finally believe her,"

Jacob turned his head to look at Lizzie.

"But you – you treat me like a person. You respect my feelings. You make me happy. I just want to be happy,"

Lizzie laughs, falling back on the blanket and then turns to lie on her side, propping her head up on her elbow. "Does this mean that I get to see what you look like as a werewolf?"

He lays down to, shifting on the blanket so that he's facing her now and shrugs one shoulder. "Maybe another time."

"Will you let me ride you around the forest?" Lizzie asks, her eyes glowing, and Jacob laughs.

"Sure. I've never done that before, but how hard could it—" Jacob is cut off when Lizzie leans in and kisses him on the lips.

"I think I could love you too," Lizzie breathes as she moves away and lies on her back again, "But I think we should slow things down."

"Wait, you want to break up?" Jacob questions and Lizzie shakes her head.

"I don't want to break up. I just don't want to get too serious. What if you change your mind?" Lizzie questions and Jacob stares at her for a long moment.

Then pulls his phone out of his pocket, noticing all the voicemails waiting for him to listen to them, then he crushes his phone in his hand.

He knows that it's probably a fruitless gesture, Bella has his house phone number and she said that she going to come back some time after the baby is born…

 _But he's not going to let himself regret his choice._

* * *

 **Author's note: The next chapter will be Bella in Pheonix with her mom and the baby.**

 **Please review and let me know what you think.**

 **Is Jacob choosing wrong? Is he making the right decision? How do you feel about Lizzie? How do you feel about Bella? How do you think this is going to turn out?**


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